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A four-day work week in Holidayland!

01 Mar 2022

What are the leaders managing Sri Lanka’s economy smoking? According to media reports, the island’s greatest spin master and optimist-in-chief has submitted a set of proposals last week, which includes a proposal to reduce Sri Lanka’s work week to four days. Apparently, our country is now so broke that we can’t even afford for our workers to go to work. This is due to the dire power situation which is the result of our dire fuel situation which in turn is the result of our dire forex situation, which is the result of idiots being placed at the most vital institution that dictates Sri Lanka’s economy. The media reports have not been contradicted at the time of writing. So we can sadly only assume that they are true. Which leads me to wonder, has the leader of Sri Lanka’s IMF Resistance Force finally gone cuckoo? We need to work more, not work less. We already have the highest number of holidays in the world, and we’re proud of it. Apart from the one million or so religious holidays we have, we also take off for our villages for a week or so each time anyone we are remotely related to gets married, falls sick, or dies. Reducing the number of hours that people work directly results in less productivity – for companies and for the country. That would mean less economic activity and less exports too. While we’re going about reducing work days, why don’t we reduce it to three days a week? And then two days? And then let’s just work one day? The ultimate goal could be for everyone to not work at all! Come to think of it, let’s all eat less too. If we all stop eating and die of hunger, then the population would reduce and the Government’s foreign exchange, fuel, and power problems would presumably be solved. Oh wait. We tried that before. When Covid-19 arrived, the Government panicked and shut down the entire country for months, leading to practically zero economic activity. Remember how that didn’t work out? According to reports, the set of proposals also include a couple about extending working hours per day, as well as encouraging people to use public transport more and private vehicles less. To quote the colourful character of Captain Haddock from the popular TinTin comics, what prize purple jellyfish came up with these ideas? The fact that the number of buses and trains is woefully inadequate on our roads is completely ignored.  Clearly, the managers of the economy and their advisors haven’t gone in a bus in many, many years, most likely decades. We’ll all be hanging from the windows of the few buses that are left on the roads. And of course the guys who make these proposals don’t care about the security of female workers, who would be leaving their workplace later than they are presently, and are likely to be severely sexually harassed in multiple ways in buses which would be even more packed than usual. But that’s not the policymakers’ problem, eh? The foreign exchange crisis, which other countries don’t have because they don’t have trolls managing their economies, was, according to many economists, caused by the Central Bank’s policies. Or was it the Treasury? I can never tell which bunch of crazies is destroying our country’s economy. While we’re discussing cockamamie proposals, I’ve got one myself. Why don’t we propose that Sri Lankans be sent to fight in the Russo-Ukrainian War? After all, that would be better than having them sit around at home due to a reduced work week. That would earn the country lots of forex. Since both countries are important to us, we can send our people to fight for both countries.  Don’t worry, we Sri Lankans are quite used to fighting each other. We do it every day on our roads. I have no idea what the salary of an international mercenary is. But it’s probably quite high, a lot higher than a housemaid’s, I suspect. So if each mercenary earns $ 5,000 per month, we would have billions of dollars flooding the country. But make sure that the dollars come through the banking system please! That chappie Prabhakaran must be kicking himself. The Government and the Central Bank have joined forces to achieve the destruction of Sri Lanka’s economy within a few months, while he spent decades fruitlessly trying to do the same, only to finally meet a gruesome end. That’s our WTF rant for this week. Cheerio and pip-pip until next week, when I’m sure we’ll have something else to talk about in our Paradise Isle that would be insanely more insane than this week. And don’t work too hard now. Our economic trolls won’t like it.  (WTF stands for whatever each of you want it to stand for. If you’ve got a ridiculously dirty mind, that’s not my fault)  

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Discover Kapruka, the leading online shopping platform in Sri Lanka, where you can conveniently send Gifts and Flowers to your loved ones for any event. Explore a wide range of popular Shopping Categories on Kapruka, including Toys, Groceries, Electronics, Birthday Cakes, Fruits, Chocolates, Automobile, Mother and Baby Products, Clothing, and Fashion. Additionally, Kapruka offers unique online services like Money Remittance, Astrology, Medicine Delivery, and access to over 700 Top Brands. Also If you’re interested in selling with Kapruka, Partner Central by Kapruka is the best solution to start with. Moreover, through Kapruka Global Shop, you can also enjoy the convenience of purchasing products from renowned platforms like Amazon and eBay and have them delivered to Sri Lanka.Send love straight to their heart this Valentine's with our thoughtful gifts!


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