Stephanie Siriwardhana on finding yourself

By Bernadine Rodrigo Stephanie Siriwardhana is not an unfamiliar name to the Sri Lankan ear. She is mostly known for winning the Miss Sri Lanka for Miss Universe crown in 2011 and her work as a compere. We know her to be beautiful, graceful, and pretty much a perfect lady. We’ve assumed that that was what she always was. However, if you spend some time speaking to her, she will tell you otherwise. You have talked about not fitting in. What was that like and did it ever change for you? I was very nerdy, chubby, and definitely not one of the popular kids here, in high school. It was terrible. I was very academic and I even tried to learn Elfish so I definitely did not fit in. But, that all changed when I went to Italy and Canada; I was so involved. I graduated as a governor and it was completely different so I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. So I understand what it feels like to not fit in. I think not fitting in is the best because then you stand out. Everybody wants you to fit into a mould and sometimes you don’t and sometimes you feel left out. I know I did and then you realise “you know what, it’s okay if you don’t fit into a mould, this is me”, and you make your own little niche. You have the courage to be you because there’s only one you. My parents are very kind human beings and they’ve always told me to have the courage to be different and that really helped me. What was school life like for you, especially in Sri Lanka? I went to all the international schools but, my favourite was Elizabeth Moir because I was taught the importance of being a socially responsible human being. No matter what you do, I think giving back is really important because when you wake up with hands and legs, you’re blessed. It’s the smallest gesture. We had organised a conference with Dr. Wangari Maathai, who started the ‘greenbelt movement’ and she’s a Nobel laureate. She told us the story of the hummingbird; it says even the smallest drop of water can put out a fire if everybody puts in a small drop. This shows that no matter how small the gesture is, you can cause a ripple effect where you can create a whole movement. So you believe in the goodness of an individual? I know this is a bad analogy but something that makes me feel like one person can make a huge difference is that if you look at the extreme, like Hitler, he did so much damage and he destroyed so many lives, it was the worst time. Now imagine if he was good, imagine one person, how much good they can do! I know it’s two extremes but, I think if one person can do that much bad, then one person can most definitely do the opposite. So is your goal in life to change the world? Yes! Yes! Although now that I’m older, and after getting married, I would say I’m a little slower at doing it now because reality has kicked in and now it’s like: “Do you want to have kids soon? Do you want to start your own family?” This is the point where you have to find the balance, where you still have to find the time to change the world and you also make time to manage a family. It’s a balancing act and it’s something I’m still learning to do. Speaking of families, would you care to tell me what it’s like being married to your husband Dushyanth Weeraman? It’s great because we get to work together so much. We do a lot of corporate work together. We sing together, we dance together, we do brand ambassadorships together. We’re blessed that we are both in the same industry so we have the liberty to work together, maybe a lot more than couples who are not in the same industry so it’s great, it’s fun and it’s exciting. Every day is different. He doesn’t fit in either which is why we clicked. He’s very nice and most importantly he has a good heart. As a couple what we really focus on is giving back and trying to give back as much as we can. So, right now we’re doing some work in the Welikada prison to raise funds to rebuild their toilets and just a few weeks ago, we donated care packages to the convicted women because sometimes they don’t have enough basic sanitary needs. Does it ever get annoying? Of course! I mean he has his artistic opinion and so do I. It’s about finding the balance when one plus one is never two. If I had an idea and I did it my way, that’s great but, I feel like the projects we do together, using both our minds, end up being the beautiful ones which are more powerful. Sometimes it’s a tug-of-war because we’re both sort of type A personalities so, sometimes we lock horns but it’s fun and the end results always come out well. He’s a very special human being and he’s very different. So you’ve won Miss Sri Lanka for Miss Universe. Did you always like modelling? The funny thing is I’ve never been a model. I’ve been on ramps maybe four or five times. Every time I’ve walked, I’ve only walked for Michael Wijesuriya because he’s an amazing friend of mine and he’s obviously so talented in what he does. Whenever he asks me to walk the ramp, I do it. Besides that, I was never really much of a model. After Miss Sri Lanka, I got into hosting so I compere. I’m so much more comfortable holding a mic than I am walking the ramp. That’s the honest-to-god truth. So what are your favourite things? Oh, I love dancing and I love singing; reading and basically anything artistic. Which types of music appeal to you the most? I love the classics. I love opera, I love jazz, and I love all those kinds of things. I would definitely say I’m an old soul kind of person in that sense. What about dancing? What have you done in that area? A: Currently I do a few workshops here and there when I have the time. I love to teach dancing, my mother was a teacher, and she actually did a course where she would teach people to read, write and speak Italian in 30 hours. So, teaching dancing was one of my favourite things to do. I started dancing when I was 16. I had a Mexican friend who said,”Hey, let’s go for Salsa!” Finally they stopped and I continued! Then, I was in a dance troupe called ‘Santropez’ so, I’ve performed in Miami, New York, Toronto, Montreal, Bermuda, and the Caribbean and so on. I loved it. I was really shy before but this helped me figure out who Stephanie was. We all have that person we are in the bathroom and sometimes we don’t have the courage to be that person. I learnt to embrace who I was. It’s a great feeling when your mind, body and soul all vibrate in the same frequency and I felt very liberated. I felt very free from all the boundaries and rules and regulations that society puts on us. On the dance floor, it’s very different. No one cares who you are, where you’re from, what your skin colour is, what your age is, nothing! None of that matters, all that matters is the music and movement and it’s just such a beautiful and liberating experience which I found through dance. I became an empowered individual. While I was in University, during the day I would be studying and doing my student union stuff and in the evening, I was a dancer! Then, since 2008 and coming here, I’ve been teaching dancing and doing workshops. Any plans for dancing in the future? I’m thinking of starting Latin ballroom dancing with Kevin (Kevin Nugera). He’s great. I don’t know Latin ballroom; I’m considered a street dancer, a Latin street dancer. I’m even a Belly dancer but not a classical Latin dancer. How did the belly dancing come to be? Well I guess it runs in my genes, the Lebanese part of it. My aunt used to teach me Belly dancing, we went Salsa dancing together and she taught it to me. How did it lead up to winning Miss Universe Sri Lanka? My mum signed me up for Miss Universe Sri Lanka. She told me to have an open mind and so I thought ‘fine, maybe it would teach me to be a proper woman’ and it did! And how did it go on from there? Afterwards I got into hosting, singing, dancing and now I actually do some corporate training as well. There, I teach many things like, communication, first impressions, grooming etc. which is fun. As you know, I like teaching. What would you say your formative years were? Definitely when I was a little older, I think maybe sixteen to twenty one were my formative years; when I was in Italy and in University. I went to Concordia University and I learned a lot there. I’m a ‘yes person’ and even if I wasn’t sure about doing something, I would say yes and then make sure I did the best job that I could. What was your drive for achieving all that you have? I believe in hard work, dedication, and I do believe there is nothing you cannot do if you put your mind to it. You can do anything. I really believe that and that’s thanks to my parents who have supported me and pushed me and said, “If you want something, then work hard and push yourself. I think you should always do new things because, if you keep doing the same thing, you get comfortable and if you’re comfortable you never grow. It’s only when you push yourself and put yourself in uncomfortable situations where you’re almost like, “Oh my God! Can I do this? And when you put in the hard work, and you accomplish it, that you learn so much about yourself. I think you learn something every day. I’m still learning so much. Do you think your childhood as a little girl is irrelevant now? Not at all, I believe that everything you do makes an impact. If I didn’t do the things that I did as a child -- all the nerdiness, the studying -- I wouldn’t be where I am now. Every little thing you do, every mistake you make, it just makes you a better person. It’s all part of the building blocks that come together and make this amazing sculpture that is you, so I never believe in regret. I think everything is an experience. I had a great childhood. I have a family that loves me and supports me and I think the fact that I wasn’t the most secure child, the fact that I had a lot of insecurities, helps me so much today because now although I am so empowered, I can relate to people I want to work with, and I can find common ground very easily. I think that helps a lot, to have that empathy that comes from the fact that I lived through that. Do you see yourself somewhere else in the future? I actually don’t believe in that because, for every plan I’ve had, life has had its own plan. You just need to be a good traveller. And you need to be easy-going enough. It’s always good to have a general idea of where you want to go, but I don’t believe in making a strict plan because, in my experience, nothing goes according to plan. So, you should just be open-minded and flexible enough to take the curves of life and live it to the fullest. Be a ‘yes person’ because you never know. You might plan something, but something else might present itself, and it could be the most beautiful experience in the world. It could be so much more than what you could ever plan. I like to live life like it’s an adventure. A word of advice to little girls whom you could be inspiring? Just be unapologetically you. Be wild and free! Photo Eshan Dasanayake