brand logo

Colombo Confessions: The death of influencers

05 Jun 2021

Colombo Confessions is all about having a laugh. I’ve had the misfortune of associating with a wide cross-section of Colombo denizens. This column is a look at the lighter (sometimes) side of Lankans in the capital of Sri Lanka. Laying on my side, tummy full of kiri pani, the only entertainment left to me in this time of restriction is swiping here and there on Instagram. Stalking seems a better experience than actually being active on social media. Rainy days seem to be all about raining on other people’s parades. This is the way things are done in Colombo. Always was, always will be. And I am no different. Let’s focus today on these unsavoury lnstagram influencers. “What goes up must come down” is the old refrain, and boy have these lnsta-demigods crashed and burned. The fake models who only know how to find a sugar daddy or two have made their profiles private. One wonders if they are currently spoken for or are trying to charge subscription fees. It could also be a calculated move to compensate for their now-meagre lifestyles – because there really is nothing much to show now, is there? One of these fake studs who is living off the spoils of a much richer man, and who was very public about showing off his “hard-earned” swag, had to go private on social media recently, and I can see why. Now there are no more trips abroad or any fancy clothes to buy. The last few Insta stories from this stud were about his latest pathetic breakfast attempt, boasting an egg and a cucumber. What came first, I wonder, the cucumber or the egg? I've heard that the poor boy has got a small spoon as well. What to do? It surely can’t be smaller than mine. This pondering was interrupted by a spammy SMS from a beauty outlet selling their potions and lotions. Of course, the skintones of the target audience of this particular brand are beyond the help of even industry-grade machinery. But back to my Instagram musings, l for one am glad that I don’t have to implant a cataract in my eye to look at some silly nymph posing with some branded bottle of lunu miris next to her naked inner thigh. A thigh that is so dimpled it seems that it has been moisturised to an inch of its life. Curse this Instagram algorithm; all I see are bare-chested torsos and love quotes. Remember this – both the chest and the quotes of love are the biggest disappointment that love can give you. You are better off with beer and brisket. So, yes, I think I’ll sum up this week’s sermon with this: One of the advantages of this lockdown is the demise of these influencers. Food brands and the rest have found their mojo. Why have an influencer sell your wares when you can do it yourself? Uber Eats and PickMe Food are social channels for an actual product. Instagram, on the other hand, is just noise. Actually that’s not completely true. As I have found out in life, if you keep lying enough, it eventually becomes the truth. And yes, religion, I’m looking at you – wink wink.   (Rohitha Perera is a writer, blogger, and content marketer from Colombo, Sri Lanka. He used to be an editor at a lifestyle magazine, and now works in the IT industry)  The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect those of this publication.  

Kapruka

Discover Kapruka, the leading online shopping platform in Sri Lanka, where you can conveniently send Gifts and Flowers to your loved ones for any event. Explore a wide range of popular Shopping Categories on Kapruka, including Toys, Groceries, Electronics, Birthday Cakes, Fruits, Chocolates, Automobile, Mother and Baby Products, Clothing, and Fashion. Additionally, Kapruka offers unique online services like Money Remittance, Astrology, Medicine Delivery, and access to over 700 Top Brands. Also If you’re interested in selling with Kapruka, Partner Central by Kapruka is the best solution to start with. Moreover, through Kapruka Global Shop, you can also enjoy the convenience of purchasing products from renowned platforms like Amazon and eBay and have them delivered to Sri Lanka.Send love straight to their heart this Valentine's with our thoughtful gifts!

Discover Kapruka, the leading online shopping platform in Sri Lanka, where you can conveniently send Gifts and Flowers to your loved ones for any event. Explore a wide range of popular Shopping Categories on Kapruka, including Toys, Groceries, Electronics, Birthday Cakes, Fruits, Chocolates, Automobile, Mother and Baby Products, Clothing, and Fashion. Additionally, Kapruka offers unique online services like Money Remittance, Astrology, Medicine Delivery, and access to over 700 Top Brands. Also If you’re interested in selling with Kapruka, Partner Central by Kapruka is the best solution to start with. Moreover, through Kapruka Global Shop, you can also enjoy the convenience of purchasing products from renowned platforms like Amazon and eBay and have them delivered to Sri Lanka.Send love straight to their heart this Valentine's with our thoughtful gifts!


More News..