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Give time for society to adjust

24 Jun 2019

By Sarah Hannan This week, Voices for Equality stepped into a safe space created by Dinesh Perera not only for the LGBTQIA community, but for everyone who is on the lookout for a space to unwind. Being raised in a Catholic family, Perera is no stranger to a society that constantly looked at him with high expectations. Going against values and norms in that backdrop, Perera confirms that he faced many challenges and understood the importance of having a safe space for people to be themselves. “When you are born into a conservative family, regardless of which gender you belong to, you are faced with a lot of obstacles. A natural rebel by instinct from an early stage in my life, I was able to break through all these boundaries and not conform to the societal norms; but I still hold the values close to my heart.” From banking to advertising to now serving in the leisure sector, Perera had cycled through from systematic work to the creative industry, shocking many of his friends and family. “By changing my field of work, I wanted to get involved in a career that would bring me happiness and thought of how it would influence my day-to-day life. I always try to be true to myself, and by that, I do not have to explain myself to society. When you are solid in your core, you can easily make decisions for yourself.” Be it an LGBTQIA person or a cisgender person, Perera stated that society tends to have certain expectations of everyone. “While I honour the spectrum, I do not subscribe to a label. I feel that while it is necessary for a community to come together in order to fight discrimination and seek equality, it is my personal right to live as I choose. From the time you are born, everything around you is predetermined based on your gender, social status, level of education, etc.; a lot of people inadvertently get caught up in it. It is always too far into a person’s journey that they realise it.” Creating a safe space We inquired from Perera about how important it was to have a safe space and how the idea behind Mahasen by Foozoo came about. “Foozoo is your safe space in Colombo. While we are LGBTQIA-friendly, everyone would always need some time for themselves regardless of which community they come from. It is important to have a space where one is not judged. From the moment you step into these premises, you can rest assured that you are in a space that is free of judgement or comment.” Elaborating on the atmosphere of Foozoo, Perera noted that the establishment stands for equality – not only for a marginalised community, but for everyone who is fighting an internal battle in their lives. “As much as we want to be ourselves, we should also respect societal norms. There are spaces and places where the LGBTQIA community can express themselves, but one must always be mindful of their surroundings. Just as how you would be respectful of another person’s religion, you must be respectful of other people and allow them some time to adjust.” Perera also pointed out that when a LGBTQIA person decides to come out, society would take some time to adjust to that change. Earning the respect and acceptance of society should be looked at as a two-way street, and Perera believes that one must accommodate the fact that sufficient time and space is needed for anyone to understand each other. Situation no different Having travelled out of Sri Lanka and attended pride parades in other countries, Perera noted that every country is part of a spectrum. In some countries, people have to drive to LGBTQIA-friendly states/districts to attend pride celebrations. Even in Sri Lanka, Colombo seems to be much more accepting of the reality in comparison to a far-out village. “A cross-dresser might find it easier to walk about in Colombo’s suburbs and might not be able to do the same in a village that is not exposed to the rapid change that takes place. The level of change needs to be considered alongside how much society has changed. While we get heavily influenced by online platforms, we cannot expect the larger community in our society to adapt to that change.” He also stated that the medical and legal professionals and the law enforcement have a bigger responsibility in changing the perception of society. Furthermore, they should be more supportive towards the LGBTQIA community and accept that this is a natural occurrence. Key groups responsible “The medical fraternity is a key group that could usher in change by accepting and informing that this is not a mental illness. Similarly, one must also understand that homosexuality was never a western thing, and it was a natural behaviour in this part of the world centuries ago. The legal fraternity too has a responsibility in understanding where these laws came from, and should understand the instances of how people are harassed, victimised, and accosted under such laws.” Perera is of the view that these laws or penalisations are now recognised to be unethical by many neighbouring countries; likewise, Sri Lanka too should make necessary amendments to its Penal Code and Constitution to be more accommodating towards the LGBTQIA community. “When India, Nepal, and Bhutan have brought in the much-needed reform to their constitutions and penal codes, why is the legal fraternity in Sri Lanka still resting on centuries-old clauses? Equally, the religious prelates should also be more empathetic towards the LGBTQIA community.” In conclusion, Perera noted that Sri Lanka being a Buddhist country should uphold the values of acceptance, tolerance, and kindness; yet, society is more polarised towards the views that were instilled by its colonisers. While the West has already corrected their course and grown to be more tolerant and accepting, Sri Lanka is yet to realign itself to its ancestral values. Photo Krishan Kariyawasam

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