You can choose your limitations. Or let your limitations define you.
What sets the exceptional apart from the average? What drives the human spirit to achieve greatness and separate itself from the mediocre? To strive towards something bigger and better, and beyond the abject norm, linear ideologies, and conventional frameworks of existence.
Why is it that we often blur the lines between contentment and limitation? More oft than not, we accept our current situations, our direst circumstances and the challenges that test and try us because we think and believe that we are powerless to make meaningful change.
Why is it that as we grow into adulthood with it, we also seem to willingly sacrifice our penchant to reach for the skies, to embrace our imagination, to steer our lives towards unchartered terrain, and look at obstacles as adventures instead of detrimental hurdles. It would seem that along with maturity and wisdom, we also tend to let go of our ability to be truly relentless and motivated.
We lose our ability to dream and work towards those dreams.
Childhood’s end
Children don’t set limits for themselves. Their imaginations run amok, and their realities and perceptions are ones of grandeur, open to possibilities and experience. Some will say there is a child in all of us.
Some choose to reach their childhood’s end and leave every semblance of it behind them. These people are at times remarkable life achievers, go-getters – but highly clinical, career and process-driven, and lack imagination and creativity.
Others carry fragments or an iota of their childhoods with them. These are the great innovators and game-changers who don’t set limitations for their visions and dreams and goals in life. They never lose that spark of adventure and playfulness – that willingness to steer their lives towards untapped frontiers.
There are a few who simply refuse to grow up. Those who live recklessly, without ever reaching any emotional intelligence. Impulsive, chaotic, and immature individuals who can never seem to find a balance in life. This is a dangerous thing and a damaging place to be stuck in limbo at. Where you become an adult lacking any concept of responsibility, morality, and with no capability to accept accountability for one’s choices and decisions in life. Some who prefer to never have to stare and deal with the colossal elephant in the room, face challenges, overcome personal, social, and professional hurdles, and accept the penalties for their decisions and deeds in life.
Those who struggle with an eternal inner conflict of infinite refusal to evolve. The “Peter Pan syndrome” as it were. Pan is the Greek god of meadows and forests, of shepherds and hunters, and the god of the wilds. Pan frolicked chasing around nymphs, playing his musical pipes, and choosing to cause pandemonium and panic where possible. Now, consider that Pan is truly a paradox. An uncivilised god in a civilised world. Pan is feral, wild, chaotic, and playful. This is akin to musicians, artists, writers, thespians, and creative personnel at large – is it not?
Do we not see an element of Pan in rock stars and actors, in certain innovators and ground-breaking entrepreneurs, in composers and bards of old, in modern social media influencers and gamers, boxers, and MMA fighters, in writers and digital nomads?
Of course, we do.
But there is a significant difference between the above-mentioned and those who refuse to mature and face life’s penalties for their choices.
Those who are willing to learn from their errors and find courage in the face of life’s storms accept the repercussions and consequences of their choices and actions. Those who cower from life’s hardships are the ones who keep letting the penalties accrue and limitations stack up.
The rime of the ancient mariner
Let’s take an example of a truly great paradox of our times.
The mighty Bruce Dickinson, vocalist of heavy metal legends Iron Maiden, a band formed in 1975 and to date has released over 17 studio albums, 13 live albums, nearly 50 singles, has sold over 100 million albums around the world, and is a musical prodigy that still exists and tours worldwide, and has been around for nearly half a century!
Bruce Dickinson is famous for saying that there is a teenager inside of him that refuses to grow up, and that kid loves rebellion, freedom, and has a spirit of adventure to cherish and celebrate life. Did you know that the man is a certified commercial pilot, UK national fencing champion, author, BBC radio host, entrepreneur, scriptwriter, documentary host, motivational coach and public speaker, and an honorary Doctor of Philosophy and Music? The man is happily married, with three children. He has on his own released six solo studio albums. And let’s not forget that he battled cancer of the throat and overcame that crisis with treatment, unshakable resolve, and a determination of steel! He continues to record music and tour the world. This is naming but a few of his amazing feats and achievements in life. Yet, on stage, he’s as wild and Pan-like as ever.
Now, the reason I used the example of Bruce Dickinson is that the man has accomplished amazing things by finding equilibrium and, through that balance, navigated the seas of life and never set limitations for himself.
Lessons and gratitude
Gratitude stems from understanding and being able to identify our life’s gifts, talents, and blessings. Learning to be grateful for the good things we have in our lives – be it people, skill sets, situations, or circumstances – comes from the ability to tap in cohesively and grasp conscientiously that we have a whole lot of things to be content with in life…if only we focus on that which we have, instead of the things we do not.
Lessons come from learning to deal with and face the myriad hardships and challenges we face in life.
I heard this beautiful saying:
Not all storms in life are put there to disrupt our progress and destroy us. Some storms in life are put there to clear a path for us.
I love that.
It sometimes boils down to a matter of deeper perspective. Marcus Aurelius famously declared: “Look beneath the surface; let not the several quality of a thing nor its worth escape thee.” We are often so preoccupied complaining and setting limitations for ourselves, feeling hopeless and powerless, that we forget to see the beauty and wonder in the things that we do have around, among and with us, that we can use to improve our lives.
How to be limitless
“Effort within the mind further limits the mind, because effort implies struggle towards a goal and when you have a goal, a purpose, an end in view, you have placed a limit on the mind.”
– Bruce Lee
- Set distinctive goals and a limitless vision: In order to realise and actualise a vision in life, we need to first conceive and have a vision – by setting achievable goals with feasible tasks and working towards it with patience and fortitude
- When the going gets tough, don’t give up: Remember, obstacles and hurdles are a part of life. Without things challenging us, we will not improve, learn, or grow. Think of that famous saying that “if something doesn’t challenge us, it certainly won’t change us!”
- Control what you can: You can control your thoughts, desires, feelings, and actions and thereby, it’s a small step towards self-empowerment. Don’t let these things take control of you. You drive a vehicle; the vehicle doesn’t drive you
- Let go of the stuff you cannot control: Mulling over external things beyond your ability to change them are things that make you powerless, thus creating mundane limitations. You cannot control how others feel or think about you. You cannot control the weather no more than you can control an economic crisis or a political dilemma. What you can do is choose to adapt and live in harmony with yourself and anticipate circumstances where you will need to realign your perceptions and strategies to deal with tougher situations and greater calamities
- Design your future, define your present, delete the past: What I mean by this is that it is pivotal to stop carrying around the weight of past grievances and regrets where it takes a toll on the present. Let the decisions and actions of the present define you. Let go and delete the bygone stuff you cannot change. What’s in the past is done and dusted. Look ahead, live in the present, and seize every moment and forge a path towards a future
- There is no “I can’t”; only “I shall”: Don’t dive into things with negativity in your heart and mind. Whatever it is in life you must do – be it a job, a chore, a task, a priority, or a duty – do it with the right mindset and attitude that you will fulfil it. A small matter of conditioning – that will result in a major difference in how you tackle situations
- Be fearless in screwing up: Just like muscle and tissue that needs to fortify itself by first tearing when you work out in order for it to grow, life is the same. Be fearless in making mistakes. If you fail, fail well. Push yourself to not repeat the same failure. The more you work on something, the better and more graceful you will be at mastering it