“If you accomplish something good with hard work, the labour passes quickly, but the good endures; if you do something shameful in pursuit of pleasure, the pleasure passes quickly, but the shame endures.”
– Musonius Rufus, Roman Philosopher, 1st Century AD.
What is the true sacrifice for self-growth? Have you lived your life making every fleeting moment count?
Do you value yourself? Do you see value in all your efforts, all your hard work and trouble? Is your life journey finally going to end up being chronicled, or ruminated, as a voyage of worth?
Why do we succumb to travails and perils that are many...for status, wealth, fame, love, power, legacy, reputation, accolades, praise, or esteem, or to be loved or feared?
Why do we chase the ideals and symbols of marriage, kids, cars, houses, assets, bank accounts, stocks, bonds, and investments?
We are born alone. We die alone.
It’s a crude analogy and yet true.
There is no doubt that many of the abovementioned pursuits do bring about certain levels of satisfaction, contentment, and, sure, even happiness.
A funny quote I read up recently in the world of Twitter: Money can’t buy you happiness. But money can sure as hell buy you out of your misery.
This, I thought, was very interesting and appropriate for our day and age.
It’s true certainly that a fair proportion of wealth can aid you through life’s hurdles, ensuring you are better fiscally equipped to tackle life’s problems.
Yet, why is it that some of the loneliest, most miserable people I know are also the same ones who are wealthiest?
It’s because the more money you have, the more opportunities you can seize. The greater your opportunities, the bigger your challenges get. The bigger the challenges, the more time and money and power you need to find a silver lining.
More money more problems
Not everyone makes lucrative investment choices, sound long-term security decisions, and spends time synergistically existing with society at large and our human nature, coping with ways and means to create and preserve one’s wealth.
What those in the lower rungs of the social ladder tend not to ever see through the lavish veil of smoke and mirrors is that those with more wealth tend to gravitate towards living their lives for show and not substance. The pressure of blending into hierarchical social circles, adhering to the whims and temptations of human nature to exploit and expunge one’s assets for short-term impulses.
It’s redundant to assume this works in a linear fashion. It does not.
However, the more you have, the more troubles that tend to come with it.
Think about it.
The lower and middle classes have money problems. The rich have very different money problems.
From the higher taxes they pay, to the luxurious lifestyle choices hounding at their heels, attracting circles only for their fortune and overflowing bank accounts, accumulating too much debt, and significantly higher expenses are some of the harsh realities of the rich and famously wealthy.
The more money you earn, the more you spend. The more you spend...well...the more you need to earn.
Life doesn’t hurl fewer problems at you along the way. The complexities evolve as you do.
We spend a very limited time on earth, with our loved ones, cherishing what little we have and appreciating that which is meaningful.
And yet...
We are apt to let life pass us in rapid succession. In a sequence of blurred moments, by harbouring ourselves with the burdens of ego, discontent, guilt, stress, shame, and inadequacies in life.
When reality’s cookie crumbles, here’s the real irony: We spend more than half our lives struggling to make ends meet for a utopian dream that can never be satisfied – yet fighting to live up to the expectations of others, while thriving in a secular society with the charms and entrapments of materialistic pursuits. We spend the other half of our lives comparing ourselves to others who appear to have more than we do and are allegedly happier.
It’s like a prized fish inside a posh barrel trying to swim in circles and not fall through the holes, cracks, and fissures that the water keeps leaking out of.
The uninvited guest
It is said that the root of all evil is money.
It is often inferred in Buddhist teaching that materialism is the antithesis to spiritual development.
Materialism is ingrained in many cultures today. You’d be hard-pressed to find a developed or developing society or flourishing community with a stable economy that isn’t motivated by the subjective mindset that purchasing power is the fundamental route to success and happiness.
Happiness.
We are obsessed, conditioned, and programmed to chase after happiness.
Why be so smitten and infatuated with our proverbial dog-eat-dog-cat-hunt-rat cycle of life when we know that it adds little value in the grander scale of things?
Sadly, our phenomenology today is determined by the experiences brought about by our ownership of assets, purchasing power, and the value we place on materialistic happiness.
Has our collective intelligence diminished so much now that we can no longer tell passion from purpose, meaning from reason, ignorance from understanding?
Enter the coronavirus into our monocephalic, insipid little three-ring circus of existence. Covid; the uninvited guest disrupting our homogeneous equation in raucous and ravenous disposition...and behold how humanity is forced to re-evaluate everything from a fresh perspective.
To look at life and the world through a new lens. A new pair of eyes and a reawakened conscience.
Nothing will ever be the same.
Humanity also has thus had to re-examine and re-assess the things we hold dear, who and what we cherish, and that which we value.
What does it mean to live a meaningful life? What does it mean to become the best version of oneself?
How do these things factor in when deciding to improve ourselves and our lives?
How can you find a balance between achieving the means to make your ends meet and finding happiness in purposeful and meaningful things?
Materialism is a necessary evil of course. We need homes to live in. Clothes to wear. Vehicles to travel in. The ability to further our education goals. To invest in projects we are passionate about. To fend for and take care of our families, pets, and loved ones.
At which point do we get blindsided by the pursuit for happiness to such a degree that we lose sight and touch and sense of all else?
The meaning of life
“It’s all very well to think the meaning of life is happiness, but what happens when you’re unhappy? Happiness is a great side effect. When it comes, accept it gratefully. But it’s fleeting and unpredictable.”
– Jordan Peterson
Perhaps the finest lessons we can learn from this outrageous outbreak that’s crushing our morale and tainting our lives is accepting that humanity cannot control everything.
We can aspire to try and focus on the things that we can control. By looking inwards and pausing to appreciate the things in our life that truly have meaning and value, we can attempt to navigate our lives, taking time to perceive and respond to situations and events with a more open mindset.
Self-growth doesn’t mean self-conceited. Maybe the world doesn’t need to change. Maybe we do. So that change starts with ourselves. Our thoughts, perceptions, words, deeds, values, attitudes, and mindsets. We should look at how our choices impact those among and around us. It’s hard to take responsibility for stuff that’s beyond our control, but we can take accountability for our own decisions.
Spend time doing less unimportant things. When you focus on stuff you really are passionate and invested in, you spend time wisely and resourcefully on things that give you ROI in terms of peace of being and peace of mind. It could be a work project, a labour of love, a recreational hobby, or a small adjustment to spend quality time with those you care about or even for yourself a little everyday. E.g. to improve your fitness, and physical and mental health.
Think of how finite we are and how death is inevitable. Pretty morbid huh? But it’s true. So many we know, or closely linked to those we know, are infected, gravely indisposed, or passing away now – even after being inoculated. The situation is freaking nuclear. This alone ought to make us all appreciate life and every moment so much more. We could be here today and gone tomorrow. Ask yourself what you have achieved and what it all finally adds up to. Not what we will leave behind in terms of assets and wealth, but how we have touched or inspired someone else, brought joy or value to this planet even in a small way. Truly I say to you, you will spend less time grumbling, whining, and feeling empty and instead do what you can to make every moment count.
Finally, let me leave you with some words of wisdom by Epictetus: “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”
The author is the frontman and lyricist of Stigmata, a creative consultant and brand strategist by profession, a self-published author and poet, thespian, animal rescuer, podcaster, and fitness enthusiast.
The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect those of this publication.