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The reasons that spur on runaway lovers

06 Dec 2021

  • Anuradhapura study notes various factors, highlights need for proper medico-legal management to determine real causes
By Ruwan Laknath Jayakody Causes of and reasons for elopement, a study conducted in the Anuradhapura District found, involve parents disapproving of the love affair, the girl feeling uncomfortable at home, the girl being sexually harassed by guardians, the girl engaging in consensual sexual intercourse with her boyfriend, or the lack of such a reason. These findings were made in an original article which examined the “Reasons of female children for eloping with boyfriends in the Anuradhapura District” which was authored by Anuradhapura Teaching Hospital Consultant Judicial Medical Officer S.M.H.M.K. Senanayake and published in the Medico-Legal Journal of Sri Lanka’s Fifth Volume’s First Issue in December 2017.  Even though sexual intercourse is illegal with females under the age of 16 years, as such constitutes under the law the offence of statutory rape, certain underage girls are arrested by the Police for eloping with their boyfriends and engaging in sexual intercourse. Elopement, as D.J. Solernou described it, is the act of two lovers running away secretly for the purpose of getting married, often without parental consent, where certain couples do so in response to social pressures that are adverse to their union. As noted by K. Khanam and B.I. Laksar in “Causes and consequences of child marriage – a study of the Milannagar Shantipur Village in the Goalpara District” and R. Rathnayake’s “Minimum age for marriage in Sri Lanka and the girl child: Bridging the gap in the marriageable age”, even though elopement is typically met with very few legal penalties in the majority of the countries, it, however, produces psychological trauma to family members and psychological, social, and medical problems for the girl child. When elope cases before the age of 18 years are reported to the Police, all of such cases are produced for a medico-legal examination due to the involvement of offences such as statutory rape or the abduction of the girl from the parents.  According to S.M. Colombage, P.B. Dasanayake, and D.L. Waidyarathna’s “A study on child abuse in Anuradhapura, Colombo South, and Ratnapura”, Anuradhapura is a common district where the elopement of girl children takes place. Hence, Senanayake examined all the medico-legal examinations of elope cases in the Anuradhapura District during 2015 and 2016, in order to ascertain the reason for the elopement and awareness about the legal age limit for marriage which are routine questions posed during the medico-legal examination.  During the years 2015 and 2016, 98 girls below the age of 18 years who participated in elopement were thus examined for medico-legal purposes. They were between 12 and 16 years of age, with the majority being 15 years (58 – 60%), followed by those who were 14 years (22 – 22%), 13 years (12 – 12%), 12 years (four – 4%), and 16 years (two – 2%).  Of them, 42 (42%) did not know about the legal age for marriage.  Of the reasons for the elopement, disapproval of the love affair by the parents was the most commonly indicated cause (54 – 56%).  Other causes were girls who could not live at home (17 – 17%; the examinees said that they could not live at home anymore as their parents do not, according to them, love them and provide loving care to them; that there were frequent arguments and that they, therefore, wanted to go with the boyfriends and start a separate life), no special reason being given (16 – 16%; when the boyfriend proposed to elope, the girl had simply complied), miscellaneous and special reasons being given (six – 6%; parents approved the love affair and told that they can marry at the age of 18 years but they eloped; one aunt and uncle had advised the examinees to elope; the mother of the boyfriend was ill and so the examinee eloped to help her; one examinee had no close relation to look after her; and one examinee went to the boyfriend‘s house to meet the boy’s mother and she then wanted to stay there), and issues related to sexual activities (five – 5%; one examinee got pregnant by her boyfriend; two examinees had engaged in sexual intercourse with their boyfriends; and the stepfathers had tried to sexually harass the examinees after discovering the love affairs, and therefore, in order to protect the girls, the boyfriends had decided for elopement).  With regard to parents disliking and disapproving of the love affair (54 – 56%), parents had advised to stop the love affair (33 – 61%); guardians had physically assaulted the examinee (four – 7%; with the four cases involving a mother, an aunt, a father, and a stepfather); parents had planned to assault the boyfriend (two – 4%); parents of the boyfriend had advised to stop the love affair (two – 4%); the examinees thought that the boyfriend is not suitable for the family and that the parents would therefore not permit (five – 9%; with the five cases involving three boys who were poor and two boys who had separated from the first marriage); the examinees being scared to go home (six – 11%; the teacher had discovered one love affair; one couple had been seen by a teacher; two couples had been seen by cousins; and three girls had got late to go home than the usual time after meeting with their boyfriends); and the parents had planned another marriage (two – 4%).  Discussing the findings, Senanayake noted that where disapproval was given as the reason, it is mainly from the family of the girl.  Since the second common cause was that the girl could not live at home due to frequent arguments and the lack of loving care from the parents, K.H. Rubin, K.M. Dwyer, C. Booth-LaForce, A.H. Kim, K.B. Burgess, and L. Krasnor’s “Attachment, friendship, and psychosocial functioning in early adolescence” added that psycho-social support for both the girl and the parents is necessary in order to prevent this type of elopement.  In Sri Lanka, when a young girl elopes and the couple is arrested by the Police, the boy is indicted for abduction or statutory rape and the courts allow them to marry at the age of 18 years, before the judgment is pronounced, and, therefore, being aware of this practical scenario, certain adults, Senanayake observed, seem to advise underage girls to elope with their boyfriends in order to ensure that the future marriage takes place during the court procedure.  Senanayake also noted that three girls, citing the Sri Lankan culture, could not think about any other marriage owing to having consensual sexual intercourse with the boyfriends and pregnancy. Even though the law identifies the age of consent for sexual intercourse as 16 years and the age of marriage as 18 years, with the situation under the Muslim Marriage and Divorce Act (MMDA) being the sole exception, girls may wish to engage in sexual activities and married life before the age of 16 years, which according to the “National Youth Survey 2012-2013: Health profile and risk behaviours of the Sinhalese, Buddhist, unmarried youth stratum” by N.I. Thalagala, A. Lokubalasooriya, M.N. Danasuriya, and S.P. Godakandage may be due to the failure to educate young children about sex and married life and the failure on the part of parents, teachers, and social institutions to address the psychological and social needs of children.  “A total of 82 cases showed a reason which prevented the girl from living at home with the parents till the age of 18 years. These cases could have been managed with psychological support and elopement could have been prevented. In five cases, parents had assaulted the girl after discovering the love affair. In two cases, the girls’ parents had planned to assault the boyfriends. These seven cases show that physical child abuse is still taking place in the society in relation to love affairs of teenagers. These 82 cases showed that the elopements were the result of impulsive reactions rather than planned activities,” Senanayake elaborated.  In Spain, the legal age limit for marriage is 16 years and as lower as 14 years with permission from a relevant court, whereas the Sri Lankan legal system does not permit marriage below 18 years even with parental permission or with the permission of the relevant court for the underage couples who participated in elopement (again, the MMDA being the exception to the rule). Because of the involvement of the criminal law with the elopement of young lovers, the Police arrest such couples based on complaints from parents.  Forensic practitioners are routinely involved with these cases and if detailed clinical histories are taken, the real causes for the elopement such as previous criminal sexual offences by others are sometimes discovered, and, therefore, Senanayake highlighted the relevance of the proper medico-legal management of such cases including the addressing of the present incident, the discovering of any underlying criminal cause, the medical and psychosocial management of the victim and the counselling of parents, and elsewhere, cause or reason-based societal preventive measures being taken through awareness programmes and counselling centres for both children and the parents.  If you feel that you or someone you know may be affected by this content or may require help, the following institutions would assist you:  The National Institute of Mental Health: 1926  Sri Lanka Sumithrayo: 0112 682 535  Shanthi Maargam: 0717 639 898  Police Child and Women Bureau: 011 2444444  Courage Compassion Commitment (CCC) Foundation: 1333  Women In Need (WIN) 24-hour hotline: 077 567 6555


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