Marriage rates are hitting a global all-time low according to a report titled “Families in a Changing World” released by UN Women last year. While there were no statistics provided on the percentage of adults of all ages who are and are not married, the UN report assembled statistics on the percentage of women who reach their late forties without ever having married, which is increasing.
Speaking to Brunch, the Office of the Director General of the Department of Census and Statistics shared that under Sri Lanka vital statistics, the number of marriages in Colombo saw a steep decline in 2017, at 18,050,000 persons. This records a decrease from the previous number of 18,163,000 persons for 2016, and the trend has somewhat continued since.
Nimal Senadeera of the Registrar General’s Office shared with us the most recent statistics, providing that if we are to observe the marriage data based on district, we can see a distinct decline from 2019 to 2020 in Colombo, with the numbers dropping from 163,378 to 143,061. However, he stated that you cannot say for certain that there has been a decline over the years, as the data in the past decade indicates only slight fluctuations.
To observe the nature of marriage and whether the numbers tell the real story, we reached out to a number of marriage registrars in several different areas. Almost all of them painted somewhat similar pictures with slight variants owing to the specifics of their individual areas of residence and economic, cultural, and social statuses.
A lack of awareness
Speaking to us, C.D.M. Ratnayake from the Colombo 15 area shared that her experience is reflective of the economic and educational status of the majority in her governing area. She shared that often, most couples are not married until after they have their first child.
She provided that there is a lack of awareness on why a marriage certificate may be necessary; often, many families would get together and recognise the union of two people, and they would go on to have a family of their own without ever registering their marriage. However, when they are trying to enroll their kids into schools or when one of them wishes to go abroad for work, they discover the need for a marriage certificate. “I come across a lot of couples who got together young and raised children, and now that they are looking to fly abroad for employment, they come to get their marriage registered,” she said, adding that this is a common scenario, and that there have been people in their late 60s coming to register, as they wish to get their pension, etc.
She said that however, in her 14 years of experience, it is simply not possible to tell if marriage rates have declined, because in Sri Lanka there is no real understanding amongst people when it comes to marriage. She said that people just do it because it is what they are supposed to do, so these numbers will not fluctuate because they haven’t learned any better or any less.
Percy Warnakulasuriya of Dehiwala North, who is also part of the Colombo District Association of the registration of births, marriages, and deaths, similarly shared that in his 15-year experience in the field, it is not possible to tell whether marriage rates have dropped or increased in Sri Lanka. However, he feels that things haven’t changed all that much since he first started.
He said that while global statistics may paint a certain story, he suspects that Sri Lanka and most of South Asia is less affected by these changes, as marriage isn’t particularly demonised in our culture the way that it is in the West. He also added that marriage in South Asia is somewhat a cultural obligation, so many simply go through it, and there is no questioning of whether they want to or should go through with it, and why they even need to.
What the general public had to say
Marriage positive
We also spoke to a number of marriage hopefuls who shared their reasoning for marriage, and why they wish to get married to their partners. Much of the reasoning was quite culturally oriented, with many of the younger couples stating that the reason why they are getting married is because they wish to have autonomy.
Mathuri Thayaparan, a legal officer in a prominent bank in Sri Lanka, shared that she is a woman in her late 20s who has been together with her partner for over seven years, and yet she is not allowed to spend much time with him without the supervision of their parents. She provided that the primary reason why they, as two financially independent persons, wish to marry is because they wish to have the freedom to share their lives with one another without societal scrutiny.
Surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprisingly, much of the reasoning that was shared with us was based on creating an environment where it is acceptable by society for the couple to spend time with one another.
Another 30-something professional shared his thoughts on the matter, stating that he will be getting married this week, and the primary reason for it is because his partner is a foreign national. “The world makes it very difficult for people from different countries to be together. When she comes down to Sri Lanka she has to keep renewing her visa monthly, which is costly, and it is near impossible for me to get a visa to go see her,” he said. And so, as a practical solution, they are getting married.
There were also several others who shared that they are getting married as the next step in their relationship and to serve as a solid expression of their commitment to one another. An attorney-at-law who practices at the Hulftsdorp courts shared that she recently got married to her partner of three years simply as an expression of their commitment to one another. However, she also added that there are additional advantages to marriage, including the benefits of going abroad. For instance, she and her partner wish to fly to Canada and their visa is issued on a points-based system; so, because they each have individual strengths they are able to score better as a unit.
Marriage negative
While the majority were interestingly in favour of marriage, there were a rare few who shared that they’d rather never get married. They of course would like to maintain relationships with their partners but without the added pressures of marriage.
We spoke to a marketing specialist who is currently in a two-year long commitment with a colleague and he shared that he does not wish to get married and neither does his partner. He said that perhaps one day if it is incredibly beneficial to have a marriage certificate, then they may consider it, but for now they see no reason to. He said that they each do not wish to have children either, and therefore they see no real reason for marriage.
Similarly, another individual who works as the manager of her family business shared that while she is currently in a relationship, the thought of marriage as a commitment feels unnecessary to her. She shared that humans are fickle and if ever comes a time when she or her partner wish to part ways, then they should be able to do so without begging the courts to grant them the freedom. “Does it not sound like a plea to free us from this prison?” she said, asking also: “Why would I willingly sign a contract where I enter a legally binding cage when I can enjoy the same thing without that contract looming over my head?”
It would appear that while the global norm may tell a certain story, in South Asia, and particularly in Sri Lanka, culture seems to prevail above all. Most marriages take place out of a sense of duty rather than an actual desire to get married. However, it can be assumed that with the rise of more financially and socially independent adults, the trends may begin to shift.
Speaking to Brunch, the Office of the Director General of the Department of Census and Statistics shared that under Sri Lanka vital statistics, the number of marriages in Colombo saw a steep decline in 2017, at 18,050,000 persons. This records a decrease from the previous number of 18,163,000 persons for 2016, and the trend has somewhat continued since.
Nimal Senadeera of the Registrar General’s Office shared with us the most recent statistics, providing that if we are to observe the marriage data based on district, we can see a distinct decline from 2019 to 2020 in Colombo, with the numbers dropping from 163,378 to 143,061. However, he stated that you cannot say for certain that there has been a decline over the years, as the data in the past decade indicates only slight fluctuations.
To observe the nature of marriage and whether the numbers tell the real story, we reached out to a number of marriage registrars in several different areas. Almost all of them painted somewhat similar pictures with slight variants owing to the specifics of their individual areas of residence and economic, cultural, and social statuses.
A lack of awareness
Speaking to us, C.D.M. Ratnayake from the Colombo 15 area shared that her experience is reflective of the economic and educational status of the majority in her governing area. She shared that often, most couples are not married until after they have their first child.
She provided that there is a lack of awareness on why a marriage certificate may be necessary; often, many families would get together and recognise the union of two people, and they would go on to have a family of their own without ever registering their marriage. However, when they are trying to enroll their kids into schools or when one of them wishes to go abroad for work, they discover the need for a marriage certificate. “I come across a lot of couples who got together young and raised children, and now that they are looking to fly abroad for employment, they come to get their marriage registered,” she said, adding that this is a common scenario, and that there have been people in their late 60s coming to register, as they wish to get their pension, etc.
She said that however, in her 14 years of experience, it is simply not possible to tell if marriage rates have declined, because in Sri Lanka there is no real understanding amongst people when it comes to marriage. She said that people just do it because it is what they are supposed to do, so these numbers will not fluctuate because they haven’t learned any better or any less.
Percy Warnakulasuriya of Dehiwala North, who is also part of the Colombo District Association of the registration of births, marriages, and deaths, similarly shared that in his 15-year experience in the field, it is not possible to tell whether marriage rates have dropped or increased in Sri Lanka. However, he feels that things haven’t changed all that much since he first started.
He said that while global statistics may paint a certain story, he suspects that Sri Lanka and most of South Asia is less affected by these changes, as marriage isn’t particularly demonised in our culture the way that it is in the West. He also added that marriage in South Asia is somewhat a cultural obligation, so many simply go through it, and there is no questioning of whether they want to or should go through with it, and why they even need to.
What the general public had to say
Marriage positive
We also spoke to a number of marriage hopefuls who shared their reasoning for marriage, and why they wish to get married to their partners. Much of the reasoning was quite culturally oriented, with many of the younger couples stating that the reason why they are getting married is because they wish to have autonomy.
Mathuri Thayaparan, a legal officer in a prominent bank in Sri Lanka, shared that she is a woman in her late 20s who has been together with her partner for over seven years, and yet she is not allowed to spend much time with him without the supervision of their parents. She provided that the primary reason why they, as two financially independent persons, wish to marry is because they wish to have the freedom to share their lives with one another without societal scrutiny.
Surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprisingly, much of the reasoning that was shared with us was based on creating an environment where it is acceptable by society for the couple to spend time with one another.
Another 30-something professional shared his thoughts on the matter, stating that he will be getting married this week, and the primary reason for it is because his partner is a foreign national. “The world makes it very difficult for people from different countries to be together. When she comes down to Sri Lanka she has to keep renewing her visa monthly, which is costly, and it is near impossible for me to get a visa to go see her,” he said. And so, as a practical solution, they are getting married.
There were also several others who shared that they are getting married as the next step in their relationship and to serve as a solid expression of their commitment to one another. An attorney-at-law who practices at the Hulftsdorp courts shared that she recently got married to her partner of three years simply as an expression of their commitment to one another. However, she also added that there are additional advantages to marriage, including the benefits of going abroad. For instance, she and her partner wish to fly to Canada and their visa is issued on a points-based system; so, because they each have individual strengths they are able to score better as a unit.
Marriage negative
While the majority were interestingly in favour of marriage, there were a rare few who shared that they’d rather never get married. They of course would like to maintain relationships with their partners but without the added pressures of marriage.
We spoke to a marketing specialist who is currently in a two-year long commitment with a colleague and he shared that he does not wish to get married and neither does his partner. He said that perhaps one day if it is incredibly beneficial to have a marriage certificate, then they may consider it, but for now they see no reason to. He said that they each do not wish to have children either, and therefore they see no real reason for marriage.
Similarly, another individual who works as the manager of her family business shared that while she is currently in a relationship, the thought of marriage as a commitment feels unnecessary to her. She shared that humans are fickle and if ever comes a time when she or her partner wish to part ways, then they should be able to do so without begging the courts to grant them the freedom. “Does it not sound like a plea to free us from this prison?” she said, asking also: “Why would I willingly sign a contract where I enter a legally binding cage when I can enjoy the same thing without that contract looming over my head?”
It would appear that while the global norm may tell a certain story, in South Asia, and particularly in Sri Lanka, culture seems to prevail above all. Most marriages take place out of a sense of duty rather than an actual desire to get married. However, it can be assumed that with the rise of more financially and socially independent adults, the trends may begin to shift.