By Shakira Shareef
Can the terms ‘calculated risks’ and ‘relationships’ be in one sentence? Putting these two words together makes the whole idea of dating sound like a business transaction. But the truth is that there are many unfortunate things that happen to teenagers because they don’t have the understanding they need about getting into relationships.
It’s no secret that teenagers don’t like advice. I wasn’t fond of it either in my early 20s, but some advice does make sense. There are certain things in life that you can’t compromise on – one is your life. As a teenager, it’s obvious for you to want to take risks and to want to fall in love.
I don’t think telling someone to have their emotions in check and saying things like “don’t fall in love” is practical. But as a teenager, when you are getting into a relationship, you must be careful of certain things. Make sure to take calculated risks.
If they don’t make you feel comfortable, leave
As a teenager, you shouldn’t feel as though life is weighing you down. You already have different kinds of stress to deal with, so don’t let the relationship become another stress you have to spend time worrying about. Easier said than done, but hear me out. You don’t have to close the gates on getting into a relationship. Instead, you can set your limit. When you fall in love with someone or get to know someone, make sure to assess your feelings about them. The sooner you know, the sooner you can get out of it. You don’t have to pretend to be someone else when you’re with the right person. You can be:- Yourself
- Present your opinions
- Have different interests
- Trust the other person even when you’re not in each other’s company
- You don’t have to do things you don’t like – from sexual things to the things you wear.
You need your friends
Having a life outside of your love life is crucial. Some tend to push their friends away once they start dating. Even if they don’t mean to do that on purpose, it may happen without their knowledge. Now that you’re with someone new, you get the urge to spend more time with that person and to get to know the person but keep that urge in check. The more you get used to it, the more you’ll forget that you’ve got a life outside of your relationship. You become obsessed and that’s not great. Your friends must have the same place they had in your life before you started dating. If that’s not happening, you’re taking things too fast. Give it some time and take your relationship at a slower pace.Don’t ignore the red flags
Yes, that’s a red flag, and no, you’re not colour-blind. Let alone teenagers, most of us have the habit of looking past the red flags. Watch out for these signs, and if you see any of them, walk out of the relationship:- Your partner makes you feel guilty for their mistake (manipulation)
- Your partner uses gaslighting
- Your partner uses social media or other ways to check on your whereabouts
- Ending the relationship if things aren’t going great is not even an option in your partner’s eyes
- Your partner checks your phone
- Your partner doesn’t let you have a life outside of your relationship
- Your partner is keeping you away from doing the things you love
- Your partner creates dependency
- Your partner pushes you to do things you don’t like doing.