• Celebrating men’s mental health month

Taking care of our mental wellbeing is an essential element of self-care. Whether it is engaging in our hobbies, going to therapy or even surrounding ourselves with our loved ones, taking care of our mental health is something that many people across the world ought to prioritise.

June is men’s mental health awareness month. It recognises the importance of taking care of men’s mental health in a time where several of us feel unheard. The month is dedicated to reducing the stigma of seeking help and also acknowledging the challenges that men may face.

“As a man I sometimes think about the ways in which we are conditioned,” Bineth Gunasekara, 23, told The Daily Morning Brunch. “We are often pushed by manosphere content onto how we have to be strong and unemotional.”

This year a short film named Fragments of a man began shooting on the 11 June and focuses on the common mental health struggles of men like alcoholism and workaholism. The film is shot by men’s mental health advocate Amandha Amaraskara and will be released and shown to the public on the 27 to the 29 June.

Meanwhile many of our male readers resonated with several of the themes and acknowledged that they often felt that their mental health concerns were either not addressed or ignored and many of them stated that they wished they had more support.

Following these comments, we explored how our male readers handle their mental health struggles and what they can do about them.

Stress, anxiety and loneliness

Many of our male readers said that they struggle with feelings of stress and being overwhelmed.

“There is a lot going on in my job that I have to be responsible for and at the same time I have to manage the needs of my partner,” Sampath Rajapaksha ,31, said. “This often leaves me feeling overwhelmed and frustrated and I shut my partner out and snap at her.”

 Meanwhile, many other readers said that societal expectations make them feel pressured which often affects their personal lives and relationships.

“We are constantly told to be providers and protectors yet I feel like that burden is too heavy to carry sometimes,” Ahmed Ismail,31, said. “And no matter what we do, we are still not enough and sometimes that frustration comes out.”

Some readers also said that they struggled with feelings of loneliness and isolation, especially when they felt unable to openly express their emotions.

“I often spend a lot of my time in solitude,” Vinura Abeysekara,30, said. “I sometimes wish that I had someone to talk to but after being betrayed and abandoned so many times, I’m afraid it’s just not possible.”

Several readers noted that bottling up emotions often led to anger, frustration and emotional distance in relationships.

“When things get difficult I tend to withdraw,” Dilan Fernando, 29, said. “I stop answering messages, avoid conversations and keep everything to myself because I don’t want to burden other people with my problems.”

Unhealthy coping mechanisms

Many readers also admitted that they often turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms in order to deal with emotional stress.

“When I am stressed I either overwork myself or spend hours mindlessly scrolling on social media,” Tharindu Silva, 25, said. “It distracts me for a while but the anxiety always comes back.”

Others said that they relied on smoking, alcohol or isolation as a way to cope with emotional difficulties.

“I know it is unhealthy but sometimes drinking feels like the only way to shut my mind off,” one anonymous reader shared. “You feel like you cannot talk to anyone so you try to escape instead.”

Many readers say that seeking help is often either too expensive or too shameful.

“I was always told that we need to be strong and go to work,” Jehan Fernando,25, said. “When I got cheated on, my father told me to stop taking the day off to process my feelings and go to work.”

Fernando said that he is sometimes discouraged from expressing his emotions and pushed into unhealthy coping patterns by the people around me.

Breaking the stigma

Despite the challenges, several readers said that attitudes around men’s mental health are slowly beginning to change.

“I think men are starting to have more honest conversations now,” Hilary Nonis, 30, said. “My friends and I openly check on each other and talk about stress in a way we probably would not have a few years ago.”

Others said that seeing public figures and influencers speak openly about therapy and emotional wellbeing has encouraged more men to seek support.

“There is still a stigma but I think people are becoming more aware,” Gunasekara said. “The more we normalise these conversations, the easier it becomes for people to ask for help.”

Seeking support

Many readers acknowledged that while opening up can be difficult, having access to support systems helped them manage their struggles better.

“Therapy genuinely helped me understand myself better,” Gunasekara said. “At first I was hesitant because I thought I should be able to deal with everything on my own but talking to someone helped me process my emotions in a healthier way.”

Others said that simple habits such as exercising, journaling and spending time with loved ones helped improve their mental wellbeing.

“Spending time with my friends and my sister helped me improve myself and get into a healthier perspective,” Fernando said. “I do not believe that men need to bottle their emotions and bury themselves in work to make themselves feel better.”

Mental health professionals encourage men to seek help without shame and remind them that emotional wellbeing should be treated with the same importance as physical health.

“Most people wait until they are in a severe crisis before seeking care,” Senior Psychological Counselor at the Sri Lankan National Association for Counselors,J N Thilakaratne, said. “We should treat mental health the same way we treat physical fitness as something we maintain daily through social connection, boundaries and stress management.”

As conversations surrounding men’s mental health continue to grow, many hope that more men will feel empowered to seek support, express vulnerability and prioritise their emotional wellbeing without fear of judgment.

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If you feel that you or someone you know may be affected by this content or may require help, the following institutions would assist you:

The National Institute of Mental Health: 1926

Sri Lanka Sumithrayo: 0112 682 535

Courage Compassion Commitment (CCC) Foundation: 1333