In celebration of International Women’s Day (8 March) The Sunday Morning Brunch reached out to a diverse group of women – feminine-identifying persons – in our communities to answer the question, ‘What is your favourite thing about being a woman?’
The individuals were specifically asked not to add too much context to their statement, with the explicit instruction to keep things light and joyful and they came through.
It’s not fine and dandy
In today’s social and political climate, it is not easy to be any type of person – that much is understood. With the current economic crisis, households have had to bear the brunt of rising prices and a lack of access to essential needs and care, with much of this burden falling on women who, more often than not, tend to be the primary caregiver in many of these households.
Women’s Day is an opportunity to bring into focus the women’s rights movement, drawing attention to issues such as gender equality, reproductive rights, and violence and abuse against women. It is imperative that we discuss the needs of women and the struggles they encounter day-to-day.
Especially in Sri Lanka with its patriarchal societal norms, women expressing themselves have had to take a back seat. To be a feminine-identifying person and to have a feminine body is a daily struggle. Harassment, particularly street harassment, is taken incredibly lightly; women and young girls in our society are encouraged to always keep their head down and not to attract attention.
Identifying women
The argument of what a woman is has also had its heyday in recent times, with certain camps of society attempting to discredit those who identify as women or those who are feminine-identifying, claiming that they must belong to one binary gender or the other.
Queer women, transgender women, and all others who identify as feminine experience similar challenges and we must allow the space for such individuals to speak their truth. In our celebration of Women’s Day, we have opted to be as inclusive as possible to create spaces for diverse groups of women with different expressions, orientations, and from different walks of life.
Need for levity
There is no doubt that we are all struggling and each individual’s struggle deserves recognition. However, the need for levity is pressing. We can have joy while also being aware that the world is burning and both can be true at the same time.
In sharing their favourite thing about being a woman, even when called for levity, many of our lovely guests chose to keep things thoughtful.
Chethana Ketagoda shared that for her, it was “the ability to multitask, which in turn gives another benefit, which is the ability to endure so much and go through so much, at once”. She added: “It is never one at a time for a woman. I am not a radical feminist and I really don’t like differentiating between men and women, but regardless, I do know that women are simply better at multitasking and it gives us so many advantages. We are built in such a way to handle it biologically; it is something that is inherent to us. We have so many roles we have to fulfil and we have the capacity to do so.”
Everyone’s favourite activist Bhoomi Harendran also shared her thoughts: “The best thing about being a woman for me is strength – the strength I have to face problems and challenges. No matter what the situation or how hard the challenge is, the strength I have as a woman is remarkable. It is unbelievable. It is the first thing that comes to mind for me when I think of a woman. For me, ‘woman’ is power, strength, and courage.”
Many women added that strength was nearly synonymous with what it meant to be a woman and we can’t dispute that. It’s not easy to be a woman. Sure, it has its perks, but when you look at some of the regression in the West with the reversal of Roe v. Wade and other high-level decisions made for women without women’s consent, it can be frustrating to be a woman. However, they still persevere.
Discussing some of these perks, Shanuki de Alwis shared her thoughts: “If we wanted to, we can get away with just about anything, good or bad.” Many other ladies easily seconded this. Of course, a power never to be used for bad, women can indeed get away with just about anything if they really wanted to.
Yureni Noshika shared that for her, it had to be ‘motherhood’. “However, since I’m unable to relate to motherhood yet and with the profession I am in, I chose my favourite thing, beauty. Women are beautiful and that is my favourite thing about them,” she said. Yureni, of course, is not alone. Women are certainly beautiful and while beauty is in the eye of the beholder, how many can deny the beauty of a woman?
It can also be pretty fun to be a woman, Lithmi Gunawardana noted: “The unlimited clothing options and styles we have, our maturity, and our ability to multitask.” These are all definite perks. After all, if you have to deal with losses, then there better be some wins to balance things out.
Many ladies expressed that “things aren’t always great, but at least we can flirt our way into getting a free drink at the bar” or “at least we never get stopped at the club”. The ladies will take what they can get, happily.
Saritha Irugalbandara, who identifies as a non-binary feminine person, shared that her everyday gender expression was certainly very much “feminine and a woman”. She too shared her favourite thing about being a feminine person: “The fact that I have been able to cultivate a lot of important friendships with other women – the sort of community and solidarity I find in women and feminine people.
“I do not know if men are able to undergo these types of experiences, but I don’t think it is to the same degree. It’s a support network like no other. We bond over the commonly experienced discrimination that happens to us because of the way we look and who we are, but at the same time, it’s also a lot of camaraderie, happiness, and joy. I would not be the type of person I am today if it were not for those connections.”