- Facing challenges, responsibilities, and independence
After finishing school, adjusting to university life, starting work, taking on responsibilities at home, and making life decisions can feel overwhelming with newfound independence. Life presents challenges at any age, but navigating them as a ‘new adult’ can be particularly difficult.
However, with experienced adults around, whether it’s parents at home or senior colleagues in the workplace, these challenges can often be managed more easily. Support is usually available, whether from family or the guidance of more experienced professionals in the office.
Yet, stepping fully into adulthood brings a new set of challenges. Parents are aging, you might find yourself in a management role, and before you know it, you’re responsible for many aspects of life and work. To add to the complexity, you may also be a new parent – and babies don’t come with an instruction manual.
The sandwich generation
The sandwich generation refers to adults who find themselves caring for both their children and aging parents at the same time, creating a unique set of challenges. Balancing these dual responsibilities can be emotionally, physically, and financially exhausting. On one hand, they are raising and supporting their children, ensuring their education, emotional wellbeing, and future stability.
On the other, they must provide care for elderly parents who may be experiencing declining health, mobility issues, or financial dependence. The constant juggling of these responsibilities can leave little time for personal wellbeing, leading to burnout, stress, and feelings of being stretched too thin.
Beyond the practical demands, the emotional toll can also be significant, especially, the guilt of not being able to give enough attention to either generation can weigh heavily, as can the fear of making the wrong decisions regarding their loved ones’ care. Financial strain is another challenge, as medical bills, childcare expenses, and daily living costs add up, making it difficult to save for personal goals or retirement. Many in this situation may feel like they are failing in all areas, despite doing their best.
Heavier emotional weight
One of the biggest challenges in early adulthood is the feeling of uncertainty and self-doubt when making major life decisions. Seeing others seemingly succeed while you struggle can create a sense of inadequacy, making you feel like you’re the only one falling behind. The pressure to ‘have it all figured out’ can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of frustration, anxiety, and isolation. Adding the aspect of social media might make this even more difficult than it should be because there are constant success stories on social media that you can compare yourself with.
As adulthood progresses, new responsibilities bring a different kind of emotional weight. Being in a leadership role at work, managing a household, or even caring for aging parents can feel like an endless cycle of pressure. You may constantly question whether you are making the right choices, fearing that any mistake could have serious consequences. If you become a parent, the responsibility of raising a child without a clear guidebook can add to the fear of failure.
In these moments, it might seem like everyone else has it all together while you’re barely keeping up. The feeling that you have too many responsibilities – juggling expectations from work, family, and society – can be exhausting, making it hard to believe that struggling is a normal part of the process.
Society making things extra difficult
Society often sets unwritten timelines for success; when to get married, have children, advance in a career, buy a house, or achieve financial stability. When life doesn’t align with these expectations, it can feel like an extra burden, as if you’re falling behind while everyone else moves forward.
The pressure to meet these milestones can lead to feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and even shame, especially when friends or relatives constantly compare or question your progress. It can be exhausting to balance personal goals with societal expectations, making it easy to doubt your own path. The fear of being left behind can overshadow the progress you’ve actually made, making it harder to appreciate your unique journey.
Develop a realistic view
To develop a more realistic view, it’s important to recognise that life doesn’t follow a single, universal timeline. Everyone moves at their own pace, and success can look different for each person. Instead of measuring progress based on societal expectations, learning to focus on your personal growth, values, and what genuinely makes you happy can help you feel more grounded in facing these challenges. Remind yourself that external pressures often stem from outdated norms that don’t account for individual circumstances, interests, or the changing world.
It also helps to shift perspective by acknowledging that setbacks and detours are a natural part of life, not a sign of failure. Surround yourself with supportive people who respect your journey and seek inspiration from those who have taken unconventional but fulfilling paths. Practicing gratitude for what you have accomplished, rather than fixating on what you haven’t, can ease the pressure. Ultimately, success is not about ticking off a checklist by a certain age but about creating a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling to you.
Expand your support cycle
Expanding your support circle can make a huge difference in navigating life challenges. While family and close friends are important, seeking out mentors, support groups, or communities that align with your interests and struggles can provide fresh perspectives and reassurance. Engaging with people who have faced similar situations can help normalise your experiences and remind you that you’re not alone.
Building connections outside your usual circle, through networking, hobbies, or even therapy, can introduce you to new coping strategies and opportunities for growth. Sometimes, hearing how others have overcome their struggles can offer hope and practical solutions. Also, helping others who are going through similar challenges can be really empowering. It reminds us that we don’t have to face life’s struggles alone.
(The writer is a mental health professional and has, over the past 11 years, contributed to several Sri Lankan media publications in both English and Sinhala languages, focusing on topics related to psychology and counselling)