When it comes to love, society and media always tend to narrow it down to one type – romantic love. Because of such consistent associations, marketing, and even literature, we often tend to lose ourselves in the tumult of the definition of love and whether you have ‘achieved’ it or not. 

The important thing to note is that love is not tangible. It is not the product of one kind of equation nor is it limited to one list of language techniques you see in literature. The truth is in psychology; love is not interspersed by one form of trigger or brain activity, in fact, many studies suggest otherwise.

Humans are capable of experiencing different types of love and while each does not surpass the other, each type differs from each other. 

Love is a complex emotional experience that involves changes in your body chemistry, including your brain’s. It affects your social relationships in many ways and it can affect how you relate to those around you at different moments of your life. 

Attachment theory is a component of love. Affective experiences in your childhood impacts the type and quality of the relationships you form as you develop and grow. 

Your initial relationships with your caregivers as a child can affect the types of attachments you develop towards others later on in your life. This can vary the types of love and to what extent you experience them with different people in your environment. 

American psychologist Dr. Robert Sternberg introduced a theory in 1986 that love is based on three domains – intimacy (emotional), commitment (cognitive), and passion (physical). This is called Sternberg’s triangular love theory and is widely used by researchers to understand the complexity of love today. 

In this theory there are seven kinds of love that cover a range of relationship types: 

1. Liking: You share emotional intimacy but there is no physical passion. Friendships fall under this category. 
2. Infatuation: Passion is the key component here. This is where one is physically attracted to another person, but the individual has not developed emotional intimacy towards them or established a commitment. 
3. Romantic: When you share physical passion and emotional intimacy with a person, but  you have not made any long-term plans or commitments. 
4. Companionate: When you are committed and emotionally connected to another person. Best friendships often fall under this category. Marriages can also be companionate if the passion component is absent but there is still shared commitment and emotional bond. 
5. Consummate: This kind of love involves commitment, passion, and emotional intimacy. It is present when one envisions a spousal relationship or a marriage. 
6. Fatuous: This love is where one gets swept up into a committed relationship status such as an engagement or marriage based on passion without the emotional intimacy. 
7. Empty: This is the kind of love that Sternberg suggests occurs when one is in a committed relationship that lacks passion or intimacy such as an arranged marriage or a previously emotional or physical relationship that has ‘lost its spark’.

Many may wonder if they have no control over the love they feel. However, research suggests you can regulate love to a certain extent. Emotional regulation strategies include: 

• Cognitive reappraisal – changing your thoughts to change your feelings
• Expression suppression – hiding how you feel
• Situation selection – avoiding or seeking situations based on how they can make you feel
• Distraction – engaging in other activities to reduce the strength of your feelings

Research suggests that the areas of the brain responsible for emotional regulation and motivation (namely the dopaminergic system in the brain) are often associated with maternal (platonic) and romantic love. However, the effects and benefits of various kinds of love surpass even the chemical effects it has on your brain, being physical and spiritual sensations that are yet to be understood.