Marriage is considered one of society’s most sacred institutions. That said, the unfortunate truth is that for many, the confines of marriage can often serve as a breeding ground for abuse.
One such form of abuse within marriage that sees significant discourse is marital rape – rape perpetrated by a spouse. This week, The Sunday Morning Brunch decided to dive into marital rape in the Sri Lankan context.
Given the manner in which rape is defined in the Penal Code, it is shocking to understand that essentially, a husband is legally allowed to rape his wife. Despite progress in addressing gender-based violence, the absence of criminalisation for marital rape is a stark reminder of the systemic challenges that persist.
Section 363 of the Penal Code includes the following in its definition of rape: “A man is said to commit rape, whose enactment has sexual intercourse with a woman under circumstances falling under any of the following descriptions: (a) without her consent even where such woman is his wife and she is judicially separated from the man.”
A legal perspective on marital rape
The Penal Code’s definition raises profound concerns about women’s rights and bodily autonomy within marriage. Attorney-at-Law, Legal Analyst, Lecturer, and Researcher Kaveesha Coswatte highlighted that the legal provisions of the Penal Code effectively condoneed marital rape unless the parties were judicially separated, while also shedding light on the broader implications, including the potential vulnerability of children within marital relationships.
“Marital rape victims experience trauma which is both similar to and different from that experienced by victims of rapes by strangers,” she shared. “The violence, loss of control, and betrayal of trust are the most significant features to any rape victim.”
Coswatte explained that marital rape included forcing or manipulating one’s spouse into unwanted sexual intercourse where consent was not given. She described three types of marital rape: battering rape (rape with physical violence), forced sex without battering, and obsessive rapes, which involved bizarre sexual obsessions.
Marital rape is criminalised in 150 countries, including those that deal with cultural and religious contexts similar to ours like Nepal, Singapore, and the Philippines. This, Coswatte highlighted, emphasised the urgent need for advocacy to build greater protections for victims of marital rape in Sri Lanka.
“What we need is strong advocacy that speaks for the criminalisation of marital rape, understanding the offence and trauma it causes,” she shared, rejecting the patriarchal notion of marital privilege held by men which often clouds the issue of marital rape. She asserted that women must be empowered to recognise and speak out against the wrongfulness of marital rape.
Coswatte urged legislators and policy to address this national problem and criminalise marital rape in Sri Lanka, stressing on the disproportionate impact of marital rape on women who lacked clear legal recourse.
Social and psychological impact
Gender equality and conflict sensitivity specialist Velusamy Weerasingham shared with Brunch that marital rape was largely a consequence of patriarchal structures reinforced by prevailing cultural norms. He said: “Rape is something that we need to eradicate from society. If someone is made to engage in sexual intercourse against their will, that is a heinous thing.”
Weerasingham also stressed on the importance of the concept of ‘do no harm,’ asserting that it should ideally be instilled in all people from a young age. “But unfortunately, we see that suffering, especially a woman’s suffering, is considered to be part of our society, our culture, and traditions,” he shared, noting that the systemic nature of harm perpetuated in society traced back to familial dynamics where parental discipline often involved the use of force and normalised harm, culminating in acts like rape.
He further stressed that marital rape was a grave form of sexual abuse and that above all, women needed to be recognised as autonomous individuals with desires and rights whose consent was absolute.
To combat the issue of marital rape, Weerasingham shared that the social approach needed to be multipronged and focus on educating children about consent and autonomy, fostering open discussions about love and sex, and holding lawmakers accountable for enacting laws to criminalise marital rape. Speaking on accountability at a policy level, he emphasised: “The law needs to criminalise marital rape and we have to hold those we send to Parliament to legislate for us accountable to make these necessary laws to protect us.”
Exploring the psychological aspects of mental health, Consultant Clinical Psychologist Shanelle De Almeida offered her insights into the multifaceted impacts of marital rape, outlining three primary dimensions through which marital rape affected victims.
Firstly, she addressed the biological aspect, explaining that marital rape was a form of physical trauma that had impacts on both mental and physical health, which could manifest itself in ways such as digestive issues and problems with touch.
Secondly, she delved into the psychological aspect: “There are many ways by which trauma or damage can manifest psychologically. Depression can have low fluctuations and anxiety can result in things like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),” she said, emphasising on the profound psychological impact of experiencing rape, whether within or outside marriage.
Thirdly, from a social aspect, marital rape can alter victims’ interactions with others, their employment, health behaviours, and overall perspectives.
De Almeida underscored the interconnectedness of these dimensions, stressing that when it came to building support systems for victims, it was vital to understand the importance of awareness, cultural shifts, and advocacy. She pointed out the need to educate the public about the possibility of marital rape and to foster cultural change to challenge restrictive laws.
She also highlighted the necessity of advocacy efforts towards collective responsibility of experts, including psychologists, doctors, and lawmakers, to develop interventions and support mechanisms for victims, saying: “We all need to work on it together.”
In a box:
Perspectives from the public
How does the public understand the issue of marital rape? Brunch reached out to a few members of the public for their opinions.
“It is a topic that is not often discussed in society. We are all aware of cultural norms. The norm is such that when a woman gets married to a man, the woman is, for lack of a better word, obedient to the husband. When such a dynamic is created, an issue like the topic of marital rape arises.
“There is fear in discussing this topic openly. It is not a commonly used phrase. It needs to be socialised. The topic of marital rape and society must be discussed openly and widely. I urge everyone to educate themselves and to carry forward this discussion on the injustices of marital rape and the prevailing conditions in the law.
“As men, we have a role to play in this. To be a man is not about getting married, dictating all your needs to your wife, and having her meet all of these needs and wants. Is it not better if you respect one another and consider each other as equals, and to be a man who openly discusses and invites his wife to raise her own voice?”
Amanda Ranasinghe
“Marital rape is an issue that the majority of women in this country face, either currently or eventually. I believe that a major contributing factor to this injustice, harassment, and abuse that women face is due to masculinity – rather, toxic masculinity or what society deems as masculine.
“The family is society’s smallest unit. From this smallest unit to the country’s largest body of authority – Parliament – women get abused physically, verbally, emotionally, etc., so I feel that it is important that we discuss this and create a dialogue.
“However, I feel that in Sri Lanka, women need to step up and discuss this further without fear. I’ve noticed that there is a reluctance to speak out about topics such as this. I believe what contributes to this is Sri Lankan culture, which really threatens the progress we can make. If we want a system change to eradicate gender-based violence, we must strategically create awareness amongst society at large, especially amongst women.”
Chamod Alwis
“Truthfully, I think women are not aware of the topic of marital rape. I think every girl should be educated on it, but there are so many women in rural parts of Sri Lanka who receive next to no sex education, which ensures that women in Sri Lanka remain in the dark, enduring suffering.
“Women need to be taught about bodily autonomy and how their body is their own. Programmes like ‘Break the Silence,’ which bring the conversation of marital rape to the forefront, are necessary.
“Girls in villages do not have the opportunity to access this information. Therefore, I think we have to work towards creating this conversation in local languages with easy access to materials so that we can all be aware, and therefore, safe and secure.”
Ishara Shani