• Mental Health Specialist and LEADS Child Protection Mgr. Nevedita Jeevabalan on the alarming incidents of child abuse perpetrators being familiar to the child

Universal/World Children’s Day is a celebration of childhood – but, for too many children, it is also a stark reminder of the dangers that they face. In today’s context, childhood has never been more complex. A recent study reveals that nearly 95% of abuse cases involve someone that the child knows- a heart-breaking truth that demands action.

‘Kaleidoscope’ spoke with a mental health specialist, Psychologist at the National Council for Mental Health (Sahanaya) and the LEADS Child Protection Manager Nevedita Jeevabalan, on how we protect, empower, and truly safeguard the future of our children.

Following are excerpts from the interview:

On a day dedicated to children, what is the most urgent message that we need to hear about their safety and wellbeing?

As a child, the most important stage of life is this period, because this is when they begin to absorb and remember much of what happens around them. It is the time when their minds, emotions, and personalities are developing, and every experience leaves a lasting impression.

During these years, children are especially vulnerable because anything that harms them – whether it is abuse, neglect, or trauma – can deeply affect their growth and stay with them into adulthood. That is why, above all else, the most urgent message that I would like to share is that children must be protected from harm of any kind.

Ensuring their safety, shielding them from abuse, and creating environments of love, trust, and care is not just important – it is essential for their wellbeing and future.

Recent statistics indicate that 94.5% of child abuse cases involve someone who is familiar to the child. What does this mean about the current risk that children face in Sri Lanka today?

That statistic is extremely alarming because as adults, we often assume that danger comes from strangers. We warn children about ‘stranger danger’, but the reality is very different. In my years of working in this field, I have repeatedly observed that most children who come to us for counselling have been harmed by someone that they know and trust- often a family member, relative, neighbour, or someone in a position of authority close to them. This is what makes the situation even more painful and difficult to address.

As a society, this means that we can no longer live in denial or assume that abuse is a rare, isolated occurrence. Families and communities need to recognise the seriousness of the problem and take responsibility. Parents cannot realistically be with their children every moment of the day, but, what they can do is teach their children how to protect themselves, how to identify unsafe behaviour, and how to seek help.

At the same time, we need a proper system in the country to respond to these realities – policies, resources, and trained professionals who can handle cases appropriately. Most importantly, as adults, we must be willing to accept that abuse happens, even within families, and work together as a community to protect children.

What are the most effective ways to equip children to recognise and respond to unsafe situations?

From the time that they are toddlers, we need to start talking to them about safety and teach them to name their body parts comfortably - something that we don’t do culturally. This helps them know what should or shouldn’t be touched and who ‘safe’ people are. If something happens, they’ll feel more comfortable telling someone.

Families should have open conversations, and children should know who they can turn to if a parent isn’t available. Schools also need protocols and trained teachers to respond appropriately. Too often, when something happens, there is no proper system, whether in schools, religious places, or elsewhere. When handled wrongly, it only worsens the trauma.

You mentioned that culture and schools need to take the lead. Is this being addressed in schools?

It is, but not at the national level. It depends on individual schools. Some schools are proactive, but others are reluctant to start this conversation. Sadly, when incidents occur, some schools prefer to ask the child to leave instead of addressing the issue, because other parents don’t want that child around. This is deeply unfair and creates further harm.

Having supported survivors for over 20 years, I can say that these are real problems that we face, both at the individual and national levels.

Beyond prevention, how do you support children who have survived abuse?

At LEADS, we’ve been doing this for over 25 years. We have trained trauma-informed counsellors who support children and their families, and a legal team that assists with court cases. The focus is on counselling, resilience-building, and helping the child return to normalcy.

But, often, society doesn’t allow them to recover fully. Families may isolate the child, and the prolonged legal process makes things worse-cases can take up to 10 years, forcing children to relive the trauma repeatedly in court.

How would someone recognise a child who is being abused?

Usually through behavioural changes. For example, a talkative, friendly child may suddenly become withdrawn, or a quiet child may become disruptive. This doesn’t always mean abuse, but it’s a red flag.

Adults must be open to conversations – children often try to tell us, but adults dismiss it. In counselling, we hear children say, ‘I tried to say, but, no one believed me’.

Trauma can also show up in self-harm, academic decline, or refusing to go to certain places. In general, if there are behavioural changes, spend more time listening and talking with the child.

What gaps currently exist in the national policy on child protection?

Sri Lanka has good laws, but, there are gaps in coordination, resources, and implementation. In rural areas like Monaragala or Trincomalee, there are very few government officers, each with overwhelming caseloads. Limited resources mean delays in home visits and reports. Hospitals too may lack regular medical officers for the required examinations, which slows down the legal process. These resource gaps make justice and protection difficult.

As a priority, what should be implemented first to make sure that the system works?

First, we need to accept that abuse happens, and that it’s usually by people that the children know. Adults must be open to conversations with children.

At a governmental level, resources are crucial – especially psychosocial support, which is lacking. Survivors often struggle with trauma that resurfaces in adolescence, and we don’t have enough professionals to help. Police, legal, and medical professionals all need training on trauma-informed care.

Culturally, we must stop blaming or stigmatising victims. Too often, children and families are cornered by schools and communities, which only deepens the long-term impact.

(The writer is the host, director, and co-producer of the weekly digital programme ‘Kaleidoscope with Savithri Rodrigo’ which can be viewed on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn)