Imagine feeling heartbroken because the person you love, someone who has been a big part of your life, suddenly doesn’t remember you anymore. It’s like all the shared moments, laughter, and tears have disappeared from their mind. This happens to many people dealing with Alzheimer’s or dementia, where their loved ones slowly forget everything.
Picture standing in front of them, looking into their eyes, and realising they don’t recognise you anymore. It’s as if your deep connection means nothing to them. You see them struggling to remember you, and it hurts like a sharp knife to your heart.
You end up feeling incredibly sad, not just because they can’t remember things, but because you’re losing all the special moments you shared. It’s like a piece of your life together is being erased, and it’s really painful. You watch their memories fade away, and you can’t do anything about it. It’s a feeling of being trapped in a storm of emotions, leaving you gasping for air in a very difficult reality.
This experience challenges your understanding of love and makes you face how fragile our connections with others can be. Diseases like Alzheimer’s not only take away memories but also steal the very essence of who we are to the people we love.
The story on the other end
Now, imagine waking up every day feeling confused. There are people around you, but they’re strangers. Sometimes they act like they know you, but you can’t figure out how. You’re always wondering why you’re alone, why the people who loved you aren’t there anymore. Instead, these unfamiliar faces are trying to make you remember things. They talk about memories, expecting you to recall, but you can’t. It’s frustrating not to remember, and it hurts deep inside.
To make it even more confusing, sometimes fragments of memories flash in and out of your mind. They’re like quick glimpses, but they don’t stay long enough for you to hold onto and cherish them. It’s like trying to catch water with your bare hands – slipping away before you can grasp it. Frustration and sadness build up because you can’t hold onto the things that once made you smile or cry. Everything feels like a puzzle with missing pieces, and you’re left feeling lost and disconnected from your own life.
‘The Father’ sheds light on the condition
In the award-winning 2020 film The Father, directed by Florian Zeller, the devastating impact of dementia is laid bare not just for the person suffering but also for the entire support network. The movie, which won two Oscars, sheds light on the complexities of the disease.
The story revolves around Anthony (played by Anthony Hopkins), an elderly man in London, grappling with dementia. As his mental capabilities decline, he finds himself increasingly isolated, especially when his daughter, Anne (played by Olivia Colman), announces her move to Paris. Anthony’s world becomes a confusing blur, and he struggles to distinguish between reality and his distorted perceptions. The film beautifully captures his shifting memories and moments of clarity, juxtaposed with periods of intense confusion and mood swings.
The narrative explores the heart-wrenching journey of not just Anthony but also his family. His mind is full of questions: Why does his younger daughter stay away? Who are the strangers that suddenly intrude into his life? Through Anthony’s experiences, the film paints a poignant picture of the emotional turbulence faced by both the person with dementia and those who care for them. It’s a powerful portrayal of the disorienting nature of the disease and the challenges faced by families trying to provide support and understanding amidst the ever-changing landscape of memory and reality.
Old age memory loss vs. dementia
Dementia, as portrayed in the movie, often stems from Alzheimer’s disease, a progressive condition that disrupts the function of brain cells. The leading theory behind Alzheimer’s is the accumulation of abnormal protein deposits called plaques and tangles in the brain, leading to brain cell dysfunction and eventual cell death. These changes likely underlie the symptoms depicted in the film, such as confusion and disorientation experienced by the character played by Hopkins.
Distinguishing between normal age-related memory loss and dementia can indeed be challenging, as both conditions involve memory issues. Age-related memory loss, often referred to as mild cognitive impairment, is a natural part of growing older. It might involve occasional forgetfulness, like misplacing keys or forgetting a person’s name temporarily. These memory lapses do not significantly interfere with daily functioning and are often considered a normal part of the ageing process.
On the other hand, dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease, is a progressive and more severe condition. It involves persistent and worsening memory loss that significantly impacts a person’s ability to carry out everyday tasks. Individuals with dementia may forget recent events, struggle to recognise familiar faces, and have difficulty with communication and problem-solving. Unlike normal age-related forgetfulness, dementia impairs a person’s overall cognitive abilities, affecting not only memory but also reasoning, judgement, and the ability to plan and execute tasks. It is essential to consult a healthcare professional if there are concerns about memory loss, as an early diagnosis and appropriate support can make a significant difference in managing the condition effectively.
Treatment
There is no cure for Alzheimer’s disease or most forms of dementia known to date. However, researchers continue to work to find effective treatments and potential cures. There have been significant advancements in understanding the disease and developing medications that can help manage its symptoms, especially in the early stages. It’s important to note that early diagnosis and intervention can significantly improve the quality of life for individuals with Alzheimer’s disease. Several medications are available that may temporarily improve memory and cognitive function or slow down the progression of symptoms in some people. Additionally, non-pharmacological interventions, such as cognitive stimulation, physical exercise, and social engagement, are beneficial in managing the symptoms and improving overall wellbeing for people with dementia.
Caring for someone with dementia
Caring for someone with dementia can be incredibly challenging, but there are ways to make the journey smoother for both the person with dementia and their caregivers.
Patience is key. Understanding that their behaviours are a result of the disease can help you respond with empathy and compassion. Establishing routines and creating a familiar environment can provide a sense of stability. Simplify tasks and instructions, breaking them down into manageable steps. Engage in activities that the person enjoys, as it can stimulate their mind and bring moments of joy.
Stay connected with support groups and healthcare professionals who can provide guidance and emotional assistance. It’s crucial to take breaks and care for your own wellbeing, seeking respite when needed. Lastly, cherish the moments of clarity and maintain your own emotional support network. Remember, you are not alone, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness, in this challenging journey.
(The writer is a mental health professional and has, over the past 10 years, contributed to several Sri Lankan media publications in both English and Sinhala languages, focusing on topics related to psychology and counselling)