Yesterday (10) was Mother’s Day – that special day each year which celebrates mothers and motherhood across the globe. But motherhood, just like womanhood, can mean so many different things. With Mother’s Day fresh in our minds, The Daily Morning Brunch checked in with readers on what the day meant to them and how motherhood can sometimes take on different forms.
“I think Mother’s Day is so special because it celebrates the women who have been so close to us,” Mariyam Sulaiman, 28, told The Daily Morning Brunch. “As a mother myself, I know the struggles that so many of our mothers go through to bring us up.”
Parenthood is never an easy journey and when it comes to motherhood, restrictive social norms can sometimes make the journey arduous. “I grew up with a stepmother and I saw her come home from a very responsible corporate job and do housework and care work,” Amaya De Silva, 27, said.
While De Silva appreciated all the hard work her stepmother did, she said that she was made keenly aware that motherhood is oftentimes a challenging journey.
Meanwhile, Yasangavi, 20, shared that growing up with a single mother has made her realize how hard the journey was, which made her appreciate her mother more. “Before my mother’s official divorce we had difficulty getting government services without a male figure but my mother proved that nothing was impossible,” she said.
Despite these challenges though, Yasangavi shared that her mother taught her the importance of perseverance and commitment. “My mother built not one but two businesses single handedly and brought up two children with every rupee she made,” she said.
A tale of perseverance
Many readers also shared how motherhood in all its forms, taught them perseverance and the value of caring for another, even when they felt otherwise. “When I first became a mum, I thought my life was over,” a reader who wished to remain anonymous said. “As a woman who had a child outside marriage, people often looked down upon me and my daughter but I refused to give up.”
She said that despite the stigma, she chose to keep going. “Mother’s Day reminds me of all the sacrifices I made to raise my daughter and honestly, it makes me proud of myself,” she said. “I am able to feed and educate my daughter to the best of my ability and I’m happy to say that she is now a kind and empathetic 13 year old.”
Meanwhile, Ahmed Ismail, 31, said that the mothers around him have taught him so much about love and kindness. “My mother as well as my two sisters who are also mothers themselves have shown that motherhood is a journey of love and nurturing,” Ismail said. “A mother not only loves and guides her children but shows them what family life really is.”
Kindness or lack thereof
Many people often associate mothers with unconditional love and support.
“My mother has always loved and supported me throughout my life,” Akmal Afzal, 26, said. “Not only does she prepare tasty meals and keep our home looking beautiful but she is also the perfect example of what a mother and wife should be.”
However, not everyone admitted to having a good relationship with their mothers. Some readers stated that the relationship was complicated and even hostile, making Mother’s Day challenging for them. “My mother has always been my biggest bully,” Sandeshi Silva, 24, said. “She piles household chores on me while my brother doesn’t get any chores, she comments on how revealing my outfits are and tries to go out of her way to find out what is going on in my personal life.”
Silva said that because of this, she barely talks to her mother. “The relationship is gone,” she said. “I realized that she had a lot of internalized misogyny and when I spoke to other young women about it, I realized that the majority of them have complicated relationships with their mothers.”
Another recalled that her complex relationship with her mother stemmed from her involvement in her personal life. “My mother will not accept my decision to stay unmarried,” Thari Perera, 36, said. “She actually went behind my back and put me up on matrimonial sites. I recently found out that she’s been doing this ever since I turned twenty-seven.”
Many readers with complex relationships with their mothers often reflect on the fact that though motherhood is a magical journey, it is a journey that can go in many different directions.
Motherhood and the future
In order to talk about what motherhood looks like for the next generation, we spoke to new and expecting mothers about what motherhood means to them and any changes they may make. “I want my daughter to know that I will always love and support her,” Sulaiman said. “I want her to grow up a strong, compassionate and independent woman.”
Others meanwhile said that they would approach motherhood a little differently. “I know that mothers are human beings and no mother is perfect but there are some things that I wouldn’t do like corporal punishment, forcing my daughter to follow a religion and restricting my daughter’s choices,” Shalini Gurusinghe, 29, said.
Gurusinghe said that while motherhood can feel both special and important, it is a journey that both mother and child begin together.