• Nivendra Uduman and Farizul Faraj on why suicide prevention also means noticing, listening, checking in, and helping someone take the next step towards support

Suicide prevention is often spoken about at the point of crisis, when someone is already deeply struggling, when warning signs have become visible, or when those around them are trying to work out what to do next. 

Less attention is given to what comes before that point: the small things that help someone keep going, how to notice when something has changed, and the possibility that hope can be built even when someone cannot yet see it for themselves.

It is this idea of hope that psychologist Nivendra Uduman and mental health advocate Farizul Faraj want to take across Sri Lanka this September. On 12 September, Nivendra and Faraj will set off from Malabe on ‘Footsteps to Freedom: Hope Edition 2026,’ an eight-day, roughly 150 km journey to Kandy. 

Along the way, they plan to hold community awareness sessions, speak to people they meet, and share information on mental health services available in Sri Lanka. The journey begins two days after World Suicide Prevention Day, observed annually on 10 September.

The walk follows two previous Footsteps to Freedom journeys. In 2016, Nivendra walked from Dondra to Point Pedro by himself, while a second journey in 2018 saw him circumnavigate Sri Lanka’s coastline with two friends – Sara Nazoor and Ranil Thilakaratne. Suicide prevention was at the heart of both.

For this third walk, Nivendra and Faraj want to broaden the conversation. Suicide prevention remains central, but rather than focusing primarily on crisis, they want to talk about what helps people through difficult moments, how those around them can recognise when someone is struggling, and how hope can begin with something small.

“The big word is hope,” Nivendra said. “The walk is about carrying that message of hope and showing people that their story is not over because they have struggles and difficulties.”

The pair will travel through Kirindiwela, Ruwanwella, Bulathkohupitiya, Dolosbage, Ulapane, and Gampola before reaching Kandy, deliberately avoiding the main Colombo-Kandy route in favour of communities where they hope to have more opportunities to speak to people.

Some awareness sessions are being organised in advance with the support of volunteers, while others will be spontaneous. On previous walks, Nivendra recalled walking into schools, post offices, and Police stations asking if they could speak to those inside. Sometimes, those conversations had consequences they never expected.

Building hope in small moments

For both Nivendra and Faraj, the message they carry comes from personal experience.

A practising psychologist since 2014, Nivendra has long worked in suicide prevention and has also experienced his own mental health struggles. While overseas completing his second Master’s degree, he experienced a suicidal crisis of his own, an experience he said further strengthened his resolve to create awareness and help people find hope.

Faraj comes to the walk from a different background. An agriculture professional and chef who works in sustainability, he is also a survivor of three suicide attempts. His experience led him towards advocacy, sharing his story in the hope that someone hearing it might see another possibility for themselves.

“I suffered a lot because of not seeking help,” Faraj said. “You can either shut up and wait, or be a small sign of hope. I hope I can inspire people to think, ‘If Faraj has come this far, there might be something I can also achieve.’”

He has seen the effect such openness can have. Following one session at a school, a student approached him and revealed that they had been considering ending their life, but hearing his story had given them some hope. On another occasion, Nivendra said, a student had recognised signs in a friend and encouraged them to seek help.

For Nivendra, hope does not necessarily arrive as a dramatic realisation. During his own difficult periods, something as simple as having a friend nearby mattered, even when neither of them was talking.

“A lot of people believe we need to wait until we find hope to take action, but the message I want to give is that by taking the smallest action, you can start to build hope,” he said. “Action starts to precede hope, rather than the other way around.”

Sometimes, he explained, getting through a crisis meant reducing the scale on which someone was thinking. Rather than confronting the months or years ahead, the focus becomes getting through the next moment and then the one after that.

Faraj sees the same principle in friendship. He and Nivendra hope that their own relationship will demonstrate the importance of being present for another person, particularly when there is no obvious solution to offer.

“Sometimes it’s not even needing to talk to someone, it’s just being able to sit with them,” Faraj said. “We’ve shared a lot of tough moments where we have saved each other in different ways. It’s important to have that one friend you can call at 3 a.m. and know they will come, but it’s also important to be that person for someone else.”

Nivendra described this as the need to “reach in” as well as encouraging people to reach out.

“A lot of campaigns encourage reaching out,” he said. “What we also want to say is that the other person needs to reach in and actively check in on people.”

Recognising when someone is struggling

Reaching in begins with recognising that suicidal distress does not always look the way people expect.

Nivendra cautioned against assuming that someone experiencing suicidal thoughts would necessarily appear visibly distressed. Some people may withdraw or experience noticeable changes in mood and behaviour. Others may continue working, socialising, and appearing outwardly happy.

“We’ve created this idea that people will look or act a certain way when they are in pain,” he said. “A lot of people mask their pain with a smile because society has given out the message that you have to be a certain way, and that it’s not okay to appear vulnerable around other people or be a burden to them.”

Changes worth paying attention to include someone becoming unusually isolated, experiencing significant or rapid changes in mood, giving away prized possessions, putting personal affairs in order, or saying goodbye in ways that seem out of character. A sudden increase in alcohol or substance use can also be a warning sign.

A person who had been experiencing a prolonged low mood and suddenly appeared unusually calm or cheerful may also need attention, Nivendra explained. Rather than assuming the crisis has passed, those close to them should continue checking in.

Language matters too. People do not always directly say that they are considering suicide. Someone might instead say they are tired of life, that their family would be better without them, that others will not need to worry about them for much longer, or that they want to “go home” or be with someone who has died. Social media posts, photographs, poems, quotations, and status updates can carry similar coded messages.

“If someone gives you a warning sign verbally or behaviourally, the question is essentially: are you having thoughts of suicide?” Nivendra said.

One persistent misconception, he added, was that asking the question would place the idea in someone’s mind or increase their risk. Instead, asking directly and sensitively, without judgement, can give someone an opportunity to speak about what they are experiencing.

For Faraj, some signs may also represent a person hoping somebody will notice.

“It’s painful. What you want is to end that pain,” he said. “Somewhere inside, it is scary. With the shame that comes with cultural differences and stigma, sometimes you are also hoping for just one person to notice.”

Question, listen, support

Nivendra uses a suicide prevention framework known as QPR: question, persuade, and refer.

The first step is to ask. If someone is displaying warning signs, he encourages those close to them to ask directly whether they are thinking about suicide, rather than avoiding the subject out of discomfort or fear.

The second is to persuade, although Nivendra stressed that this was less about trying to solve the person’s problems and more about creating space for them to speak. 

“Listen without jumping in to try and fix the problem,” he said. “Give them time and attention. Some of the classic things we hear in Sri Lanka are ‘Don’t think so much about it’ or ‘Is it an actual problem?’ It is important that people refrain from judging and take time to listen.”

Faraj added that reassurance mattered, particularly for someone afraid that speaking openly would change how they were perceived.

“Assure them that they can tell you,” he said. “Even if they don’t want to talk about it, reassure them that the conversation will not change anything about your relationship with them.”

Where there appears to be an immediate risk, Nivendra advised staying with the person where possible, helping create a safer environment and involving another trusted person. This is also one situation where a request for secrecy should not take precedence over safety.

The final part of QPR is referral, connecting the person with appropriate professional support. Rather than handing someone a telephone number and expecting them to take the next step alone, Nivendra encouraged people, where possible, to make the process easier. 

“Ask them, ‘Will you go with me to get help?’ or ‘Can I make an appointment to see someone?’ Or say, ‘I’ll come and pick you up and we’ll go and speak to somebody,’” he said.

Not everyone has a close friend or family member available, which is one reason Footsteps to Freedom will carry information on mental health services and helplines throughout the journey. Nivendra and Faraj also plan to carry a 56-foot cloth banner on which people they meet can write their own messages about hope.

For Nivendra, one encounter from his 2018 walk captures why these conversations matter. 

Exhausted by the heat while walking through Puttalam, the team stopped at a roadside king coconut stall. The owner eventually appeared and asked where they were going with their backpacks. When they explained that they were walking to raise awareness about suicide prevention, the man told them that he himself was thinking about suicide. They sat with him, listened, and later accompanied him to hospital.

He had known nothing about them minutes earlier. What mattered, Nivendra recalled, was knowing that someone was prepared to listen without judgement. It is this possibility that Footsteps to Freedom hopes to carry from Malabe to Kandy. 

The message is not that hope is always immediately visible, nor that one conversation solves everything. It is that people around us need attention, difficult questions sometimes need to be asked, and support often begins with staying present.

“Sometimes it is important just to hear a human voice and for that intensity to drop,” Nivendra said. “The next moment can be a wee bit better, and then the next one a wee bit better.”

For eight days in September, he and Faraj will take that principle quite literally: one conversation, one person, and one step at a time.

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If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, or dealing with any similar issues, please reach out through the following hotlines:

• Courage Compassion Commitment (CCC) Foundation helpline – 1333
• National Institute of Mental Health helpline – 1926
• Sri Lanka Sumithrayo (in operation from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily) – 011 2692909, 011 2696666, 011 2683555
• Shanthi Maargam hotline – 071 763 9898