Every so often, we feel as if we are perceived incorrectly by others. Maybe someone sees you as rude and antisocial when really you’re just nervous around others. Being misunderstood, no matter how wrong the interpretation is, affects the way we perceive ourselves. Because of this, we tend to overthink others’ opinions of us, wondering whether we are hated by them or not. This really takes a toll on one’s mental peace.
The reason feeling misunderstood eats at us so badly is not only because someone is wrong about us, but because they are not seeing the whole of us; rather just a smidge of our personality. The feeling of having our whole true self so isolated from how others see us is very haunting, especially because self-identity is so significant to every individual.
The fear of being misunderstood causes one to alter their behaviour around others. This does not always stem from the fear of being a different version of how one perceives themselves, but it is the bracketed experience of either being one way or another. It feels so limiting to “be yourself” when that raw version of you does not feel accepted, so the best option is to give in to what you think others want you to be. How can we deal with this?
Trust your gut – When you feel misunderstood, you often have an instinct that the other person is not going to understand who you really are. Instead of trusting our guts, however, we often force ourselves to believe they are wrong and continue to seek the understanding of the other person. If you do this, you’re only wasting your time; you’re walking straight into a dead end because not everyone is able to understand us, and we should learn to accept that. You were given a gut for a reason – listen to it.
Avoid bad apples – As individuals, we do not belong to every group of people that share similar interests and personalities. No two people are completely alike, and there are certain people who completely vary from one another. Sometimes, when someone notices the way you shine and how wonderful you are, they feel jealous. This will lead them to feel competitive with you, and they will likely try to tarnish that beam by making comments or interpreting you harshly. It’s easy for them to get in your head, and not everyone is capable of cancelling out their thoughts, so it is best to completely avoid these people as much as possible.
Love is a beacon – It is important to understand that love is a realisation that each one of us is connected at the core, and despite all those layers above it, our core selves remain unfazed. You will feel like retorting and trying to explain yourself to someone who doesn’t understand you, but this is not necessary. Instead, try looking within and see all your flaws and your perks. Understand that you are flawed but you are beautiful too. If you have things to work on, take on the path of helping yourself with pure intentions; not because someone told you to. Do not feel threatened by your complexity like the person misjudging you – embrace it. Own the truth of your complexity and lead with love.
Do not let opinions or misinterpretations corrode your perception of yourself; understand and own your core identity. It is your greatest power.