In a world that often feels fragmented by division, a stirring narrative emerges from the heart of Sri Lanka: a tale of empowerment, inclusion, and the indomitable spirit of women. This story unfolds amid a gathering unlike any other, an event organised by the Women’s Chamber of Industry and Commerce (WCIC) themed ‘Count Her In’. For the first time in my life, I ended up at an event where men found themselves in the minority, observers and participants in a discourse traditionally not their own. 

The scene was a mosaic of diversity, with women of varying ages and colours coming together, igniting a fresh perspective on women’s empowerment and inclusivity that seemed to reach new heights in the country. There were probably 30 men among the 300-strong audience; the WCIC President praised this as the highest male participation in events of the organisation. 

Perhaps increasing men’s involvement in women-centred events could be a great strategy to solve some of the pressing issues faced by women in this country. Many men in the world are not party to most of the women’s issues but are ready to support and protect the interests of women. You’ve got to ‘count him in’. Perhaps supportive men may add value to solving some of the pressing issues women face. To inspire a daughter, a mother can certainly do so, but a father too can inspire a daughter. 

Many men in my life have stood for equality and inclusivity. I have been part of a few tremendous global and regional organisations where respect for women is etched in the corporate DNA. I am grateful for the changemakers of the rise of women in the country, especially for the last two decades. There are many wins, but there are many unresolved mysteries as well, which need urgent attention not only at the policy level but, notably, at the execution level. 

Women’s empowerment

Among the audience was a figure of poise and power, First Lady Professor Maithree Wickremesinghe. In a world where power often manifests with pomp and pageantry, her presence is a stark contrast. Dressed in a white saree paired with white pearls and white sneakers, she embodied simplicity and strength without the trappings of bodyguards, body scans, security checks, sniffer dogs, or aides; a lone figure waiting to share her insights.

She was early to the event, spoke, waited for a few presentations, and walked to her car, to the amusement of the security lady at the Galadari Hotel, who is from Diyatalawa. Maithree Wickremesinghe was not introduced as the First Lady; everyone mentioned her name and refrained from calling her the First Lady. I wish this could be the gold standard for future first ladies as well. In a country where we have had gracious first ladies and not-so-gracious first ladies, this provides an insight for women to carve out their own brand and own identity.

Her keynote address touched on the pivotal role of women in shaping the world through the lens of economic development. She spoke to an audience of entrepreneurs and changemakers, women poised to lead the country forward from its challenging circumstances. Professor Wickremesinghe highlighted the invisibility of women to policymakers and questioned whether the psychological changes wrought by the pandemic and economic instability were fully understood. The stark statistic that nearly 67% of the country’s women were not earning painted a grim picture of the challenges ahead.

This narrative of empowerment and struggle is not new; it is echoed in the personal history of individuals like 80-year-old Carmen, an octogenarian who defied traditional roles to become a breadwinner and homemaker amidst the personal challenges of suffering from 40 years of depression. Her story is a testament to what it means to ‘count her in,’ a narrative of courage in the face of adversity. 

I know Carmen well because she is my mother. She was the one who taught me that storms never last, but that navigating stormy seas is the real essence of life. She was never raised to do a job, but given the circumstances after my birth, she had to juggle too many roles and balls. While juggling many, a few balls had to be dropped. As a kid I did not realise what she was going through, but today she gives me the mirror to look at myself from her eyes. My mother is not special as I have seen many women like that who had fought more terrible wars for mere survival, sometimes the survival of their families above their personal interests.  

Power imbalance

Sri Lanka, a nation steeped in strong family values, still venerates the mother as the queen of the household, reminiscent of the queen on a chessboard with the ability to idealise any direction. Yet, this idealised role is a double-edged sword in a country where consumerism and lifestyle changes post-open economy have specific values while clinging to others. 

When 67% of women depend on others for their basic needs, it not only underscores a significant power imbalance but also a failure of post-independence leaders to address these issues. However, the willingness of women, both young and old, to claim their rightful place in society is a beacon of hope. 

In school, when I learnt that Sirimavo Bandaranaike was the first woman prime minister in the world, it was a proud feeling. Her second daughter, Chandrika, became the first woman executive president in Sri Lanka. Their political ascendancy was pivoted on their husbands’ assassinations. Mrs. B did not have much criticism the way her daughter did, but I found them equally powerful compared to modern-day Sri Lankan women politicians. It’s sad to see the plight of some women politicians trying to surpass their male counterparts’ madness. 

In an age when Sri Lanka forces women to get into politics even through a quota, women are shying away from political leadership, thus creating a masculine Parliament, with little empathy for 51.6% of the population. Since 1994, I have seen many women politicians getting into politics and fading away, given the brutality of the political game. You would agree with me that current-day Sri Lankan politics is not conducive to any woman or, for that matter, to anyone who has a sensible mind, irrespective of gender.  

Do politicians really care?

The Presidential Election in Sri Lanka is due before 17 October. Four candidates are in the race for now: incumbent President Ranil Wickremesinghe, Opposition and Samagi Jana Balawegaya (SJB) Leader Sajith Premadasa, Janatha Vimukthi Peramuna/National People’s Power (JVP/NPP) Leader Anura Kumara Dissanayake (AKD), and media mogul-turned-politician Dilith Jayaweera.

Fake news, character assassinations, conspiracy theories, policy duplicity, and internal fights are taking centre stage in campaigning. The JVP started a campaign showcasing the strength of women. The narrative was intense; the JVP leaders were talking to the hearts of the women and the pain points. The SJB followed by showcasing the strength of women. Now, Jayaweera has started showcasing the strength of women as well. Very soon, someone will give that bright idea to Wickremesinghe also.

Strength of women for what? For whose benefit? Do political leaders really care for women at large? Or is this vote-bank politics to get the largest pie of the 51.6% of women to win an election? Win an election for whose benefit? Politicians should not arouse the emotions of vulnerable women. Women should not be a shield in the next election.

As Professor Maithree Wickremesinghe says, if approximately 67% of the women in the country are not earning and are not part of the workforce, which presidential candidate has the solution to reduce the above ratio to 50% in at least three years for now? Where is the policy conversation on generating employment or business for women? Where are actionable strategies to bring them to the workforce? 

With the high cost of operations, taxation hurting businesses, and a shift of dynamics in global trade, Sri Lanka is vulnerable to another shock and parading women in election rallies without an actionable plan is a complete eyewash. Here is a great chance for any presidential candidate to show that he/she really cares for women. Tell them the truth. Tell them that there are no Government jobs to give. Tell them it is hard to be an entrepreneur or businesswoman. Tell them they will have to suffer more in the coming years. However, tell them that they have the power to change the country, tell them that they are resilient, and tell them they can fight this economic war if they believe in themselves, not politicians. 

Women’s issues are too big to be placed in the hands of politicians. This is why women should help women. Men should help women. Women should help men. Men should help men. If you are in a crisis, we all are together. This is Sri Lanka’s moment to rise and we should not be looking at one man to take us to the promised land. Last time Sri Lanka relied on one man to solve all the problems in 2019, he miserably failed.

Jayaweera is running his presidential campaign on the theme of making Sri Lanka an entrepreneurial state. He recently kick-started the ‘Liya Bala’ womens’ campaign. Here is an open suggestion for Jayaweera: without spending obscene amounts of money on rallying women, I suggest converting ‘Liya Bala’ to provide seed capital to at least 100 women to start small ventures with expert advice and network. This could differentiate his campaign from especially AKD’s, who is banking a fiery narrative to women. 

Someone has to show the country that they can walk the talk. For anyone looking for inspiration, read the book ‘Start-Up Nation’ – the story of Israel’s rise under the great Ben-Gurion. Give people a fishing rod, not fish. In Sri Lanka’s case, it’s all imaginary fish.  

Gender and empowerment 

The discourse on gender and empowerment is no longer a simplistic comparison of ‘men from Mars and women from Venus’. The world has undergone seismic shifts, with events like 11 September 2001 marking a new era of scrutiny, ambition, consumerism, and social challenges. The advent of the digital and AI eras further complicates these dynamics, with many becoming slaves to technology, losing sight of what truly matters. 

As we navigate this complex landscape, we must ask ourselves critical questions. Why do societal structures persist against women? Why is the empowerment of one gender seen as a threat to the other? Can we envision a world where inclusion and empowerment are not zero-sum games but pathways to collective success? 

I have seen much research, publications, talk shows, and speeches on the issues of women. I am yet to see credible research on why men behave as they do against women, if men are the sole problem against women empowerment. There are damaged minds everywhere. It could be a combination of many things.

The weight on men nowadays is too much as well and men can behave entirely irrationally. Talking to a few psychiatrists reflects a surge in mental health issues. Mental health was a taboo subject in the 1980s, but now at least a minority is seeking expert advice and medication. Balancing a career, running a family, and providing financial muscle, along with the pressure to be a good husband and a good father and the stress of work are making men behave very differently as well. I have witnessed professional jealousy against women not only from men, but also from women.  

Women in business

If women in politics do not provide any hope, there is a glimpse of hope from the business sector. Stasshani Jayawardena, Sabrina Esufally, and Shehara de Silva have slowly taken over from their fathers. Vidyani Hettigoda has taken the heritage brand Siddhalepa global. People often consider their success as their fathers’ legacies, but I find them strong on their own. Varuni Amunugama Fernando’s success was branded ‘due to Sarath’s daughter, Rohan’s wife, Dilith’s partner’. Anyone who knows her closely knows she has a mind of her own and perhaps has more grit than the men in her life.

I was fortunate enough to associate with some brilliant women leaders in many countries. Neeta Massand hired me as her deputy 17 years ago. Surekha Alles was at one time the sole woman country CEO of the Allianz Group and was known as the ‘Iron Lady’ of the group. Lakmini Wijesundera and Jayomi Lokuliyana ventured into a male-dominated tech world, building a sizeable business. Kavitha Radhakrishnan Pillai fought and broke the retail bank ceiling in Qatar. Avanthi Colombage and Mahesha Amarasuriya reached dizzy heights in payment tech. 

Professors Sreeradha Datta, Asanka Gunasekara, and Priyanca Mathur continue to battle in male-dominated academia. Melody Wickramanayake fought her way up to become one of the best corporate lawyers. Mandana Ismail Abeywickrema and Dilrukshi Handunnetti continue to be fearless journalists despite death threats, intimidation, and attacks. Thushi Withana, a pocket rocket digital media entrepreneur and journalist, is carving her own journey in media. 

Linda Speldewinde created a whole new industry against all odds. Ineka Dunuwille quit a corporate CEO job to build a business with her husband. Chaya Jayawardene and Gayani de Silva have contributed immensely to the financial sector. Sarrah Sammoon championed global mobility. Chamanthi Wehellage is a senior banker at SCB, New York. Sriyani Jayasuriya co-founded a pioneering solar energy business. Parveen Dassanaike continues to prosper in the travel trade. 

Mano Sheriff built a soft toy empire. Lakshmi Jayasinghe ran a powerful media station before venturing out on her own with two brothers. Kumudini Perera, a prolific singer turned social activist on women’s empowerment, is a powerful voice against harassment. A few of my classmates are well positioned for careers in politics in Africa and Europe. 

The best women heroines I met were from my long association with the national Paralympic movement – the athletes and volunteers made me realise the power of the human mind and that physical disability is a thing of the past. I appeal to any women organisations to provide Paralympic athletes opportunities to share their stories, as they can inspire millions of women.  

Of the above, they had at least one man (father or husband), and in some cases both, cheering them on to be the best they could be. All men are not insecure, but some can be. You can say the same thing about women too.   

I was with my friend Armil Sammoon at the WCIC event and he introduced himself to another lady as Sarrah’s husband. It’s a nice thing for a change. At home I have three ladies to report to. Long ago I told them that I am the executive president of the family and that they can hold any ministry, but later I learnt that they have outsmarted me like what Wickremesinghe did to Sirisena in 2015 with the 19th Amendment. However, I enjoy them being stronger, vocal, and independent.

A bank for women?

Last year I mentored 15 women entrepreneurs. All of them were strong individuals, some young and some not so young. But everyone was trying. Trying to figure out themselves. It was not about commercial success. It’s about a ‘count her in’ story. It’s about finding their own identity, own brand, own cause, and own purpose. Sadly, there is little support from the environment to nurture entrepreneurs. 

Many think access to financing is the challenge and key. But it’s not. Women entrepreneurs’ challenges are undoubtedly different to male entrepreneurs. This could be why Professor Maithree Wickremesinghe was reiterating that someone should open a bank for women. A bank for women is a nice concept but it’s important to understand why the existing banking system has failed to address the needs of women. 

Sri Lanka has produced some fantastic women leaders in banking over the decades, starting from the great Rohini Nanayakkara, to the recently-appointed National Savings Bank Chief Shashi Kandambi. It’s important to explore avenues; you may not need a bank in a hurry, but some of the perennial problems can be addressed if the stakeholders understand the problem well and kickstart the economy. 

The story of Sri Lanka, with its rich fabric of culture, tradition, and modern challenges, offers a unique lens through which to explore these questions. It’s a narrative that demands not only our attention but our engagement. As we ponder the roles of women and men in society, the importance of inclusivity, and the impact of economic and social challenges, we are invited to reflect on our contributions to these ongoing dialogues. 

What role will you play in this story of empowerment and change? How can we, together, ensure that every individual is independently ‘counted in’? The answers to these questions lie not in the echelons of power but within the hearts and minds of each of us. As we forge ahead, let us do so with the courage of those who have led the way, the wisdom to embrace inclusivity, and the resolve to create a world where everyone, regardless of gender, can thrive.